Even Knight Deserves Better Fate Than This

Dave Kindred in the Sporting News: “Lubbock? Texas? Bob Knight is coaching basketball in Lubbock, Texas? What, Alcatraz was too cushy? Bob Knight coaching basketball in Lubbock, Texas. Sorry, those words don’t scan.

“It’s as if someone said Bill Parcells is tap-dancing at the Apollo. Napoleon and Nixon were bad boys too, but they had Elba and San Clemente, not Lubbock.

“Knight must have decided to punish himself and, late one night reading his military history, came across the famous quote from U.S. Army Gen. Philip Sheridan, who in 1855 while stationed at Fort Clark, Texas, said in an officers’ mess, ‘If I owned Texas and hell, I would rent out Texas and live in hell.’ ”

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More on Knight: “With all the talk about whether Lubbock would be an exciting and cosmopolitan enough place for Knight to resume his career,” says Tim Keown of ESPN.com, “one question has remained unanswered: When did Bloomington [Ind.] become Paris?”

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Trivia time: Who holds the record for free throws made in a men’s NCAA championship game?

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Qualified modesty: The mayor of Paris insists that his city is the most qualified of the five candidates to hold the 2008 Summer Olympics. “We are the best,” Mayor Bertrand Delanoe said, before warning, “We must never be arrogant.”

An arrogant Parisian? Why, that’s unthinkable.

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Sleepless in Dallas: Former St. Louis Ram and Baltimore Raven quarterback Tony Banks has signed with the Dallas Cowboys, drawing the ire of Randy Galloway of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, who labeled Banks a “quarterbacking zombie.”

Galloway: “Three-inch headlines won’t be necessary. Actually, this transaction would fit nicely under bowling agate. Title it: Losers sign Loser.”

Aw, Randy, give the guy a chance. He did have an 11-5 record in the last 16 Raven games he started and finished.

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No big deal: Nick Canepa in the San Diego Union-Tribune, writing on the NFL owners’ meeting: “The vote on do-rags is monumental. The NFL is concerned about the players being sartorially correct and it appears do-rags just won’t do. The league’s powerful Competition Committee has voted 8-0 on the bandanna ban. . . .

“But what this has to do with competition, why it matters, I don’t know. A wisp of silk, or whatever it is, worn under a helmet, doesn’t bother me in the least.”

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Wild scheme: Taco Bell floated a 40-by-40-foot vinyl target 10 miles off Australia last week. If the Mir space station had hit it, every American would have gotten a free taco.

“For its next marketing trick,” says David Whitley of the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel, “Taco Bell will put the target behind home plate at Busch Stadium and give every American a free taco if Rick Ankel can hit it.”

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Un-welcome mat: University of Memphis Athletic Director R.C. Johnson is turned off by the possible move of the Vancouver Grizzlies to Memphis, Tenn., saying, “In my own ideal world there wouldn’t even be another pingpong team playing in this town.”

In five seasons in the ABA, the Memphis Commercial Appeal points out, the local pro basketball team had three nicknames, four coaches, six owners and not enough fans.

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Looking back: On this day in 1981, sophomore guard Isiah Thomas scored 23 points to lead Indiana to a 63-50 victory over North Carolina in the NCAA men’s title game.

Trivia answer: Gail Goodrich of UCLA, 18 in 20 attempts in 1965 against Michigan.

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And finally: Twelve days before his 88th birthday, Berry Thomas became the oldest bowler in America to bowl a 300 game.

Chuck Reed, manager of Pla More Lanes in Nashville verified Thomas’ record on Monday. Said Reed: “I’m just hoping I can get out of bed when I’m his age, and he’s out bowling perfect games.”