AND THEN THERE’S THIS: THE FOX FAMILY GAME OF THE WEEK

Atlanta at New Orleans, 10 a.m. Falcon Michael Vick and Saint Aaron Brooks are NFL quarterbacks and second cousins, family being reunited today under the roof of the Superdome. “Never thought it would happen,” says Vick, who places regular phone calls to Cousin Aaron for advice and scouting tips. Except this week. “I told him last week he’s on his own,” Brooks says. “We’re trying to win this game. It’s tough being in the same division.” Programming note: Chris Chandler starts for the Falcons, keeping this heartwarming tale of two cousins matching arms, wits and fortunes on the bench.

The line: New Orleans by 8.

NEVER SAY NEVER

Baltimore at Cleveland, 10 a.m. Here’s something you don’t often see on the NFL’s weekly injury report: “Baltimore Ravens left guard Edwin Mulitalo: out, gout.” Gout? The “rich-man’s disease”? Could it be that the Ravens are living a little too large in the aftermath of their landmark Super Bowl victory over Kerry Collins? Besides the Giants’ offensive backfield, did the Ravens also raid and pillage Glenn Parker’s wine library? How much foie gras does it take to fill up Sam Adams? If Edwin Mulitalo can be knocked out by the gout, is there any chance Tony Siragusa might contract lockjaw?

The line: Baltimore by 71/2.

ALWAYS GETTING AHEAD OF THEMSELVES

Carolina at Washington, 10 a.m. After losing, 9-7, to Dallas on Monday night and falling to 0-5, Redskin tackle Chris Samuels said he “cried like a baby. It was so close. That probably hurt the worst out of all the games of my career. ... Eventually, things are going to turn around. Right now, we’re at rock bottom, so the only things that can happen now are good things.” Not so fast, Chris. “The goal is to win one game,” Redskin Coach Marty Schottenheimer says. “And after that, to win a second game.” Not so fast, Marty.

The line: Carolina by 31/2.

JUST ANOTHER VICTIM IN THE COLD-HEARTED, CUTTHROAT, STEELY-EYED NAME OF PROGRESS

Chicago at Cincinnati, 10 a.m. No Chicago Bear has returned as many kickoffs for as many yards as Glyn Milburn. Not Gale Sayers. Not Willie Galimore. Not Brian Baschnagel. Since joining Chicago after the 1997 season, Milburn has been a key offensive contributor, since the Bears usually spend a lot of their time watching the other team kick off. But now, the Bears are 3-1, they are giving up fewer than 11 points a game and kickoffs are special events to be savored. So Milburn fumbles one, bobbles another in a 20-13 victory against Arizona and the Bears cut him loose. A shame. They’re going to need him next week against the 49ers.

The line: Cincinnati by 1.

SOMEBODY, GET A GRIP

New England at Indianapolis, 10 a.m. The same week the Bears cut Milburn, the Patriots release Lee Johnson, the NFL’s all-time punting leader with 1,187 career attempts. He was also a valuable member of the Patriots, who usually punt once every four offensive plays, but he fumbled last week in a 29-26 victory against San Diego, and the Patriots said that’s enough. Which raises the question, probably unsolvable at this point: What would happen if Johnson ever tried to kick one to Milburn?

The line: Indianapolis by 10.

FIRST RULE OF SACKDOM: THE OTHER TEAM FIRST HAS TO PASS

Pittsburgh at Tampa Bay, 10 a.m. In August, Tampa Bay’s Warren Sapp boasted that this would be the year he breaks Mark Gastineau’s league single-season record of 22 sacks. It is mid-October, the Buccaneers are 2-2, and some brave reporter reminded Sapp that he still trails Gastineau by 21. “OK, you can read,” Sapp shot back. “I think I have more than a good shot at it. I just have to get into a situation where we put people behind us and put them in a throwing situation and get them on the ground.”

The line: Tampa Bay by 5.

AND BRETT PERRIMAN CAUGHT 108 THE SAME YEAR!

Tennessee at Detroit, 10 a.m. Detroit’s Herman Moore was put on injured reserve this week because of a torn right hip muscle, meaning the four-time Pro Bowl wide receiver, now 32, is done for the season--and possibly his career. “It’s a possibility,” says Moore, owner of the most incredible, inexplicable record still standing in the NFL books: 123 receptions in a single season, 1995. Note to Jerry Rice, Randy Moss, Cris Carter, Isaac Bruce and all the rest: You try doing that with Scott Mitchell as your quarterback.

The line: Tennessee by 51/2.

SNOOP’S IN THE DOGHOUSE

Kansas City at Arizona, 1 p.m. So Dick Vermeil is 1-4 with his new team, the Chiefs, and his old quarterback, Trent Green. According to Green, it can’t be Green’s fault, so Vermeil has decided to bench rookie wide receiver Snoop Minnis and replace him with veteran Chris Thomas. Snoop’s OK with the move, he insists: “It’ll give me a chance to watch more and learn more. It might work out for the best.” Yeah, let Thomas bust his hump trying to chase down those overthrows.

The line: Kansas City by 2.

“HEY, COACH!” ALSO WORKS

Denver at San Diego, 1 p.m. With their regular defensive coordinator on injured reserve and his replacement having quit the team, the Chargers are down to their third-stringer, Mark Banker, the club’s cornerbacks coach since 1999. How will this affect the Chargers? Not much, according to Denver quarterback Brian Griese, who says, “I think Junior [Seau] coordinates their defense anyway, so I don’t think it’s a big deal.” In the interim, Seau might consider mingling more. Banker has been with the Chargers three years and Monday, Seau called him “Mark Baker.”

The line: Denver by 3.

THAT’S “BANKER.” AS IN RANDY MOSS’ VERY CLOSE FRIEND

Green Bay at Minnesota, 1:15 p.m. Inflation’s out of control in Minnesota, but even so, Viking owner Red McCombs figured $75 million would buy him more than 21 receptions, 321 yards and one touchdown. Those are Randy Moss’ numbers through his first five games after signing a new eight-year, $75-million contract with the Vikings. “I thought it was the best thing to do at the time,” McCombs told the Minneapolis Star Tribune. “We think he’s a premier player in this league, obviously. We haven’t seen that this year.” McCombs has no one to blame but himself.

The line: Green Bay by 3.

BLINDFOLD AND CIGARETTE, ALBEENO?

Philadelphia at New York Giants, Monday, 6 p.m., Channel 7. So, the Eagles have lost nine in a row to the Giants, dating to December 1996. So, the Eagles went 0-3 against the Giants last season, including a second-round playoff defeat, averaging only 11.7 points and 10.5 first downs in the process. So, the Eagles are averaging 14.5 points against the Giants in five attempts under Coach Andy Reid. So, what’s the solution? Chad Brown, the Eagles’ Pro Bowl tight end, has a suggestion: “We have to execute our offense.” A little harsh, yes. But on the other hand, “Monday Night Football” ratings might improve.

The line: New York by 3.