Woods’ Victory Was Certified Guaranteed

Like death and taxes, Tiger Woods holding the lead in the U.S. Open is one of life’s certainties, writes Greg Cote of the Miami Herald:

“Tiger with a four-shot cushion entering the final round of a major? That’s not money in the bank. That is the bank.

“That’s Randy Johnson with an 0-2 count against a guy in a blindfold. That’s Barry Bonds, swinging at Little League fences. A Williams sister, with a dozen match points. Michael Johnson, with a head start.

“That’s Shaq. Only bigger.”

Trivia time: What major leaguer hit the most home runs in a season in which he won the batting title?

No mas: Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle, on golfer Sergio Garcia’s habit of endlessly re-gripping his club before a shot:

“Good Lord, Garcia, get a grip! You’re like a baseball pitcher throwing to first base 12 times before every pitch. And there’s no runner on base.”

A long way: Eight years ago, Kurt Warner was stocking shelves in a Hy-Vee supermarket. Last weekend, the St. Louis Ram quarterback was one of the celebrities playing in a golf tournament sponsored by the company.

Warner recalled that he used to live about a mile from the Hyperion Field Club in Johnston, Iowa, where he arrived in a black stretch limousine.

“They wouldn’t let me on the course back then,” he joked.

Fashion police: Ryan Clark of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, on the colorful jackets some Lakers wore after they clinched the NBA title:

“Yes, dear fan, for only $1,800, you too can purchase your very own three-peat leather jacket. Made from Italian lambskin and lined in satin, the jacket can transform any average accountant into an NBA superstar.

“OK, maybe not, but you and Kobe will have at least one thing in common.”

Rocket launcher: New York Yankee Roger Clemens, who had a pitch thrown behind him while at bat Saturday against the New York Mets’ Shawn Estes, has hit batters 132 times with pitches but has never been hit himself.

Good humor man: During a high-profile murder trial, San Diego Superior Court Judge William Mudd, in an attempt to break the tension, has repeatedly joked about the Padres’ poor play this season.

But jurors are showing their team loyalty. Two have taken to wearing Padre shirts to the trial.

And team management has sent the judge some Padre trinkets and a note: “We’re glad you’re able to create some humor at our expense.”

Trivia answer: Mickey Mantle with 52 in 1956, the same season he batted .353 and drove in 130 runs to win the triple crown.

And finally: The United States’ 2-0 victory over Mexico in the World Cup elicited a history reference from Marcos Breton of the Sacramento Bee:

“It was like the Alamo all over again, only this time the Americans won. Only this time it was televised. Only this time, instead of Mexicans and Americans killing each other, they played World Cup soccer.

“And across Sacramento, they drank and watched together. When it was done, the Americans enjoyed their beers, while Mexicans cried in them.”