Owner Is No Bargain Either

Amazing story out of Minneapolis, and it has nothing to do with the Twins.

The Vikings, 0-4 in their worst season since 1967, planned a “garage sale” last Saturday at team headquarters. They invited the public to come and pick through used exercise equipment, office furniture, books, jerseys, helmets, anything and everything. The proceeds would go not to charity but to owner Red McCombs, who made a fortune in Texas as a car salesman and now is aggressively trying to sell his football team.

It gets weirder.

The first sale didn’t draw much of a crowd, so the club scheduled another three days later, storing the stuff in the indoor practice facility. The Vikings, coming off a bye week, tried to practice outside Monday but the drizzly weather wouldn’t allow it. So they moved inside.

And there they found that the south end zone of the facility was cluttered with desks, cabinets, blocking sleds, and more than a dozen old TVs. Everything had a price tag, even the six cases of Skin Bracer after-shave--25 cents a bottle--which, amazingly, weren’t snapped up by sportswriters in the first go-round.

At last check, the rest of the team wasn’t up on EBay.

An L.A. Update

I mention the Vikings because that’s the team that’s moving to Los Angeles. Or, wait, it’s the Colts. No, Chargers. Hold on, what week is this?

An Indianapolis TV crew spent three days in L.A. this week, talking to officials from the Coliseum and Rose Bowl, dropping by sports bars to quiz patrons, essentially doing some early house-hunting for those Colt employees who plan to move west with the football team.

Folks in Indianapolis are deeply concerned that they might lose the Colts to L.A., and team owner Jim Irsay is doing very little to disabuse them of that notion, beyond saying he plans to stay through the 2003 season. There could be loopholes in the team’s RCA Dome lease that would allow the Colts to pull out before the first obvious exit clause in 2006.

Then, there are the San Diego Chargers, who are more than ready to get out of aging Qualcomm Stadium and are quietly hoping this season’s Super Bowl exposes the place as a dump. They are moving their training camp from La Jolla to Carson next summer and still have the inside track on moving to the nation’s No. 2 TV market, according to NFL owners with whom I’ve spoken.

Meanwhile, in L.A., all this jostling is met with a collective yawn.

This city has been without an NFL franchise since the Raiders and Rams moved after the 1994 season, and there’s no indication that will change soon.

There is, after all, no place for a team to play. NFL owners and executives have said they don’t want to return to the Coliseum, and any renovation of that venue would require G-3 loan money and the promise of multiple Super Bowls as a financing tool. In other words, the NFL has to be on board.

The Rose Bowl is in a similar bind, since the city of Pasadena has no plans to pitch in any money toward renovating that stadium, an endeavor that would cost about $400 million. The city isn’t even paying John Moag, the consultant who’s trying to position that stadium to land an NFL team. The Rose Bowl is facing a string of hurdles that stretches into the distance--among them poor freeway access, historical preservation issues, a neighborhood that might be unreceptive to the number of major events such a renovation would demand.

In short, there’s no stadium solution on the horizon, and no one’s stepping up with the money to change things.

Well, there is one money-making mechanism that could rectify the situation. It’s a little extreme, but here goes.... Garage sale!

Around the League

AFC EAST--Good news and bad news in Buffalo. Good news: The Drew Bledsoe-powered Bills are averaging 32.5 points, 406.4 yards and 327.4 yards passing a game. Bad news: They are on pace to give up 576 points, an NFL record. Oh, and Buffalo’s is the only NFL defense without an interception.... Why are the Patriots stumbling? It starts with their run defense. In the last three games, they have been shredded by Kansas City’s Priest Holmes, 180 yards; San Diego’s LaDainian Tomlinson, 217, and Miami’s Ricky Williams, 105.... The Dolphins, who play at Denver on Sunday, have won 12 in a row against AFC West opponents.... Two days after New York Jet safety Damien Robinson pointed fingers all over the locker room, assigning blame for the team’s shortcomings on defense, he claimed he was misquoted and taken out of context. But what about all those reporters who were recording his words? Details, details.

AFC NORTH--Hard to believe, but the Ravens are now sticking up for the Browns. Specifically, Baltimore Coach Brian Billick defended Cleveland quarterback Tim Couch, who was booed by his own fans last Sunday in a home loss to the ex-Browns, a.k.a. Ravens. “When you go into a stadium like that, obviously that emotion makes a difference,” Billick said. “When the fans turn like that and start booing ... you’ve got to know it’s an emotional boost for this team. It never ceases to amaze me that the great, passionate fans in Cleveland, if they could stop and think about what they’re doing, would they do that?” ... With Kelly Holcomb out, the Browns have no choice but to start Couch on Sunday against Tampa Bay. There’s a picture of him on Warren Sapp’s official Web site, “QB Killa,” and he’s posted as the next victim under a section called “Tha Hit List.” ... Times sure have changed in Pittsburgh, where no Bill Cowher-coached team has surrendered 30 points four times in a season. It has already happened three times this season.

AFC SOUTH--Jacksonville has won three consecutive games and figures to roll over Tennessee on Sunday. That’s especially good news for the Jaguars, considering every team that won four in succession last season made the playoffs.... Buffalo Coach Gregg Williams, a longtime assistant coach with the Oilers, will be making his return to Houston when the Bills play there Sunday. The last time he was in Houston for an NFL game was the Oiler franchise finale in 1996, which drew a crowd of 15,131 to the Astrodome. Sunday, his team will be playing before a crowd of more than 69,000 at Reliant Stadium. Ten years ago, the Oilers blew a 35-3 third-quarter lead and lost to Buffalo, 41-38, in an AFC wild-card game. “I try to keep that game out of my mind as much as possible,” said Williams, who was the Oilers’ quality-control coordinator at the time. “But as you can imagine, it’s a big part of the tradition here. It wasn’t until I’d been on the sidelines as the Bills’ coach two or three times that I quit thinking about it.”

AFC WEST--The Raiders are averaging a league-high 40.5 points a game, but Jerry Rice isn’t getting too comfortable. “You know what the scary thing is? I don’t think anybody is really satisfied with what went down today,” he told reporters after Oakland’s 49-31 victory at Buffalo. “We won the game, but we could have been even better. This offense is going to be something really special.” The Raiders are on pace to score 640 points, which would eclipse the NFL record of 556 set by the 1998 Vikings.... How’s this for a high-altitude edge: The Broncos have won 15 of 17 at home.... Denver defensive tackle Lional Dalton won a trip for two to Jamaica at Shannon Sharpe’s Halloween party last year. Or he thought he’d won. “Considering it’s been almost a year since the trip was supposed to take place, there’s a good possibility Lional might not be going on this trip,” Sharpe told the Denver Post. “If I was him, I wouldn’t get the suntan lotion just yet.” What’s the use of lotion? Sounds as if Dalton has already been burned.

NFC EAST--Even in death, former Dallas receiver Bob Hayes brought people together. Cowboy owner Jerry Jones used his private jet to shuttle half a dozen former players and team executives to Hayes’ funeral in Florida last month. On board were former personnel chief Gil Brandt, who was fired when Jones bought the team in 1989, and receiver Drew Pearson, who had had a falling out with Jones over the Ring of Honor, the team’s honor society.... The Giants are the NFC’s worst team in the red zone, having scored four touchdowns in 13 chances (30.8%). The only teams worse? Houston (25%) and Cincinnati (14.3%).... Philadelphia’s offensive line has to do a better job of protecting Donovan McNabb, who’s on pace to be sacked 60 times this season. Jacksonville dropped him five times last Sunday, and that’s a defensive front that had only four sacks in its first three games. Still, McNabb has been good about not forcing throws under pressure. He has thrown only one interception in his last 174 passes.

NFC NORTH--Tough time to be a Bear. Chicago has lost at least one starter to injury in each of its five games. Against Green Bay, the Bears lost left guard Rex Tucker, out for the season because of a dislocated ankle and broken leg, and receiver David Terrell, out indefinitely with a fractured foot.... While New England’s defense is making running backs look superhuman, Chicago’s is doing the same for opposing quarterbacks. In consecutive losses to New Orleans with Aaron Brooks, Buffalo with Bledsoe, and Green Bay with Brett Favre, the Bears have given up 921 yards passing and 10 touchdowns. On deck for the star treatment: Detroit’s Joey Harrington on Oct. 20, with Minnesota’s Daunte Culpepper, Philadelphia’s McNabb and New England’s Tom Brady awaiting their chances.... The No. 1-selling NFL jersey is that of Chicago linebacker Brian Urlacher, but Harrington’s is rapidly climbing the charts. “Joey Heisman” is the No. 4 seller at the moment, and, according to the Detroit News, 650 Harrington jerseys were sold at the “Roar and More”--the apparel shop at Ford Field--during the Lion-Saint game on Sept. 29.

NFC SOUTH--In their four-game winning streak, the Buccaneers have surrendered an average of 6.7 points. Tampa Bay’s defense has scored as many touchdowns, four, as it has given up.... Tampa Bay’s Mike Alstott wants to carry the ball more, but he’s in the wrong offense for that. Jon Gruden, it seems, doesn’t believe in handing off to the fullback. Gruden had a good one in Oakland’s Jon Ritchie and the Raiders almost never handed off to him. Ritchie had zero rushing attempts in 2000 and 2001, despite having started 22 games over that span.... Things are looking up for DeShaun Foster, the former UCLA running back and Carolina’s second pick. He has been out since training camp because of arthroscopic knee surgery, but he’s making strides, particularly with his straight-ahead running. Don’t expect the Panthers to rush his return, though. Their next games are against Dallas and Atlanta, both artificial-turf teams.

NFC WEST--Just imagine, the San Francisco 49ers spent so much time fretting about beating the Rams, then the St. Louis game wound up being one of this season’s few gimme games. After playing Seattle on Monday night, the 49ers’ next six games are against New Orleans, Arizona, Oakland, Kansas City, San Diego and Philadelphia. Combined record of those teams: 21-8.... A glaring problem for St. Louis--and there are many--is missed tackles. On the second play of the 49er game, for instance, Garrison Hearst slipped through the grasp of safety Adam Archuleta at the line of scrimmage and tore off a 41-yard gain.... Arizona kicker Bill Gramatica blew out a knee celebrating a first-quarter kick against the Giants last season, so he has been a bit more reserved this season--even last Sunday when he made a 50-yard field goal with 16 seconds remaining to edge Carolina, 16-13. That kick earned him a hug from Cardinal Coach Dave McGinnis, although the good feelings didn’t last long. Gramatica booted the ensuing kickoff out of bounds. Talk about a mood swing. “I wanted to kiss the kid and adopt him,” McGinnis said. “Then, I wanted to divorce him and behead him.”

The moral to that story: Don’t get divorced in Phoenix.