A ‘Cane Mutiny: He’s Jumping Ship on Sooners

Sorry, Oklahoma, but this is where I bail out.

We could drag this charade of a No. 1 romance out a few more weeks, reminisce about soda-sipping summer days in Norman only weeks ago, but a clean break now is probably best for the kids.

To paraphrase your cowboy-poet Will Rogers, who said he never met a man he didn’t like, well, I just met Miami.

Bummer it had to end like this, but I’m ready to sign papers.

I hitched my No. 1 hat on Oklahoma based on a couple of assumptions: that Jason White would be the starting quarterback, and that the Sooners’ quick-as-lightning defense would be impenetrable.

So here we sit, Sept. 9, two days after White ripped up his knee against Alabama and two days after the Sooner defense allowed 20 points at home to Probation U.

Oklahoma is 2-0, yes, still misses Nebraska and Kansas State on the schedule, yes, still is a national title contender, yes, but no way Oklahoma is better than Miami, at least not as presently constructed.

With White out for the season, the Sooners must now rely on Nate Hybl, a nice kid lacking only the necessary vowels and skills.

White was an X factor because of his running ability; it was he who rescued Oklahoma in last year’s win over Texas.

With White out, Oklahoma hands the keys to a one-dimensional thrower and a running game that went backward against Alabama (minus-23 yards).

Meanwhile, in Gainesville, Fla., the Miami Pound Machine extended its road winning streak to 12 games with a 41-16 thumping of Florida. Miami rushed for 304 yards while senior quarterback Ken Dorsey, on an off night, tossed four touchdown passes.

“We knew we were good,” Miami center Brett Romberg huffed in the locker room afterward. “We kind of shut the critics up at about halftime.”

Critics? Miami entered the season ranked No. 1 in both the media and coaches’ polls, yet there were some of us who wondered whether Miami could win at Florida and at Tennessee while restocking a roster that lost 11 players to the NFL draft.

Well, gee, I guess so, but who knew Miami’s sock drawer was so deep?

The Hurricanes lost running backs Clinton Portis and Najeh Davenport to the pros, plus star-in-waiting Frank Gore to a knee injury, and simply plugged in sophomore Willis McGahee, who stepped out of mothballs and rushed for 204 yards against Florida.

Maurice Sikes answered questions about the brand new secondary by intercepting quarterback Rex Grossman twice, returning one 97 yards for a touchdown.

Miami has only three hurdles left in the bowl championship series steeplechase: at home against Florida State on Oct. 12, at Tennessee on Nov. 9 and home to Virginia Tech on Dec. 7.

Miami’s biggest opponent is going to be boredom, not showing up against an inferior opponent. The Hurricanes, remember, nearly lost at Boston College last year.

Oklahoma? Thanks for the memories, all two week’s worth.

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Irish Report

We checked the owner’s manual and confirmed 2-0 Notre Dame can qualify for a BCS game this year without scoring a touchdown on offense. The skinny on next week’s showdown: How does Michigan’s offense stop Notre Dame’s defense from scoring?

Does Michigan Coach Lloyd Carr order tackling drills for tailbacks? Will the Wolverines deploy a two-deep zone on offense in anticipation of John Navarre’s first interception?

Amazing stuff.

You may know by now that Notre Dame has scored four touchdowns in two games, none produced by an Irish quarterback-center exchange.

But did you know the Irish’s last two touchdowns of the 2001 season, against Purdue, also came without anyone saying “hike”?

Scoring summary of the Irish’s last six touchdowns: interception return, fumble return, fumble return, punt return, interception return, kickoff return.

Use of carbon dating has confirmed that the last Notre Dame touchdown on offense was scored Dec. 1, 2001, with 11:21 left in the second quarter against Purdue, on Ryan Grant’s 14-yard run.

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Weekend Wrap

Where the Heisman race stands after Saturday’s Grossman-Dorsey interception derby.

1) This Space Available.

2) Dorsey. He’s 28-1 as a starter, which makes him eligible for Heisman’s lifetime achievement award.

3) Byron Leftwich, Marshall. Thursday night’s game at Virginia Tech may be the biggest in school history.

4) Nick Setta, Notre Dame. Is there a more potent offensive weapon in South Bend these days than the kicker?

5) McGahee, Miami. Gaining 204 yards against Miami gets you in the mix, although his numbers will dip once Gore returns.

Conference of the Week: Pacific 10. The Pacific Coast league avoided full-blown home-court disasters when Washington rallied from 10-0 down to beat San Jose State and Oregon came back to beat Fresno State. Stanford gets a pass for losing a tough one at Boston College because starting quarterback Chris Lewis missed the game because of an NCAA violation.

The Florida press box was abuzz with questions about who might be the UCLA coach next year. If the Bruins’ opening win over big, bad, two-games-under-its-belt Colorado State was any indication, the answer could be: Bob Toledo.

Conference of the Weak: Big East. It’s top-loaded with one terrific team (Miami), one really good team (Virginia Tech), a few scrubs and two embarrassments in Temple and Rutgers.

The Big East has addressed the Temple problem by kicking the school out of the conference in 2004, but now there’s the Rutgers problem. “Sopranos” star James Gandolfini has been doing promotional spots for his alma mater, but it may be time for Tony Soprano to put a hit out on a program that followed last week’s loss to I-AA Villanova with a 34-11 loss to Buffalo.