WEEK 4 BREAKDOWN

DALLAS AT ST. LOUIS

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

TV: Channel 11

The line: St. Louis by 11 1/2

Quick slant: Another must-win game against the Cowboys for the Rams. Only this time in September.

Plot: There is one word to describe the Rams, 0-3 with their backs scraping the wall on the last weekend of September: lucky. Lucky they are in the new NFC West, where they have to chase down only the 2-1 49ers, instead of the old NFC West, where they would already be three games behind the Saints and Panthers. Lucky that Marshall Faulk’s neck injury turned out to be less serious than feared; he should play Sunday. Lucky they have this chance to salvage their season--a home game against the Cowboys--before next week’s road adventure against San Francisco.

Monday’s headline: “Better to Be Lucky Than Good, Say 1-3 Rams”

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CHICAGO AT BUFFALO

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: Buffalo by 3

Quick slant: The one that got away, one week after the one that got away.

Plot: Drew Bledsoe should have been quarterbacking the Bears by now. When it became obvious the Patriots were casting their lot with Tom Brady, Chicago was cited as Bledsoe’s most likely next place of employment. But the Bears, dazzled by their freakish 13-3 finish of a year ago, convinced themselves they really could reach the Super Bowl with Jim Miller--which explains why Bledsoe now starts for Buffalo, why Chicago blew a 20-point lead at home last week to New Orleans and why the Bills, 3-13 last season, are favored by a field goal over the last champions of the NFC Central division.

Monday’s headline: “Passed-Over Bledsoe Passes for Over 400 Again”

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NEW ORLEANS AT DETROIT

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: New Orleans by 7 1/2

Quick slant: M&M;, melting before our very eyes.

Plot: In 2001, the Lions made a run for the record book before stumbling into a victory after 12 consecutive losses. A year later, their story is one for the textbook, which from this day forward will forever read: Never try to rebuild by pairing a rookie coach with a rookie general manager. William Ford took that ill-conceived plunge with Marty Mornhinweg and Matt Millen, one plunge leading directly to another. The M&M; regime is 2-17, going on 2-18 and over and out. The end is in sight, especially if the 3-0 Saints leave new Ford Field the kind of shambles everyone fully expects.

Monday’s headline: “Matt to Marty: ‘No, After You, I Insist’ ”

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MIAMI AT KANSAS CITY

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

TV: Channel 2

The line: Miami by 3

Quick slant: Bride, Priest meet again.

Plot: Long before Ricky Williams wore a wedding gown on the cover of ESPN magazine (Chapter 487 in “Dark Days in Saint History”), he and Priest Holmes were teammates at the University of Texas. How Williams and Holmes got where they are today--1-2 among NFL rushing leaders--is a book in itself. Williams, having worn out his welcome in New Orleans in three years, has hit the turf running in Miami like no one before him. Holmes, deemed undersized surplus in Baltimore, is now an icon in Kansas City, bidding for his second NFL rushing title in as many years.

Monday’s headline: “Holmes Comes Up Short in Longhorn Roundup”

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CAROLINA AT GREEN BAY

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: Green Bay by 7

Quick slant: The gig is up.

Plot: Somewhere over Wisconsin airspace, it will dawn on the Panthers, recently voted most likely to go from 3-0 to 6-10, and they will arrive in Green Bay realizing they are undefeated this late in the season only by a fluke of the schedule, that three victories scratched out at the expense of three winless opponents don’t amount to much when Brett Favre is in the pocket and Lambeau Field is rocking and the Packers need an easy victory after three consecutive nervous breakdowns and the only thing breaking down Sunday is the house of cards masquerading as the Great Carolina Turnaround of 2002.

Monday’s headline: “Panthers Lose; Planet Remains on Axis”

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CLEVELAND AT PITTSBURGH

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: Pittsburgh by 6

Quick slant: The 100th renewal of the glorious rivalry. Or the seventh.

Plot: Don’t believe everything you read, especially if it’s printed in the “NFL Record and Fact Book,” where it suggests that Sunday’s game at Heinz Field is the 100th meeting between these teams, with the Browns leading the series, 54-44. Not quite. These Browns, the current Browns, were formed in 1999 and have played the Steelers a total of six times, as opposed to the original Browns, who played 93 games against the Steelers before relocating to Baltimore and renaming themselves the Ravens. These are the kind of shenanigans that get the NFL into trouble, and retrials of lawsuits filed by Al Davis.

Monday’s headline: “Different Browns, Same Old Story”

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NEW YORK JETS AT JACKSONVILLE

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: Jacksonville by 3 1/2

Quick slant: So what’s up with Paul Hackett?

Plot: For the record, Hackett did not e-mail USC its game plan for the Kansas State game. Trojan fans had to be wondering, considering the current state of the Jets. Hackett, once reported to be an offensive mastermind or something, now holds the title of Jet offensive coordinator, coordinating an offense that has totaled 629 yards in three games--an average of less than 210 yards a game, worse than every other NFL franchise except the new one in Houston. Result: Jets outscored, 74-10, in their last two games and are underdogs in this one--to a Jacksonville team that is 14-20 since the end of the 1999 season.

Monday’s headline: “Testaverde Can’t Hackett; Can Pennington?”

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HOUSTON AT PHILADELPHIA

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: Philadelphia by 20

Quick slant: Yes, Philadelphia by 20.

Plot: Point spreads of 20 points or more are common in college football, but quite rare in the NFL, unless (a) the visiting team is last in the league in total offense; (b) the visiting team couldn’t score more than a field goal against either San Diego or Indianapolis; (c) the visiting team is still waiting to score its second touchdown--in its history; (d) the visiting team is on pace to yield a single-season record of 101 sacks, which would obliterate the old record of 72, which the home team set in 1986; (e) the home team has scored 24, 37 and 44 points in its last three games, rolling head-on toward the half-century mark.

Monday’s headline: “Eagles By 20. Then They Played the Second Quarter”

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NEW YORK GIANTS AT ARIZONA

Kickoff: Sunday, 1 p.m.

The line: New York by 3

Quick slant: Now, how to get some rats’ behinds in those seats?

Plot: Last Sunday, a small band of Arizona Cardinal die-hards could be heard booing quarterback Jake Plummer during the home team’s 23-15 loss to San Diego. Asked about it afterward, Plummer snapped, “I could give a rat’s [behind].” This offended many in Arizona, where the rats have had more winning seasons than the Cardinals. By Wednesday, Plummer was holding a news conference to apologize: “When I said that I don’t give a rat’s [behind] ... I meant the boos, not the fans. I appreciate every fan that’s cheered for me and will continue to cheer for me.” And he does. All 47 of them.

Monday’s headline: “Cardinal Offense Among Arizona No-Shows”

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TAMPA BAY AT CINCINNATI

Kickoff: Sunday, 1 p.m.

The line: Tampa Bay by 7

Quick slant: Bengals throw in the towel. Also known as Akili Smith.

Plot: The Bengals are so bad--0-3 for the third time in four years, having been outscored, 84-16, by San Diego, Cleveland and Atlanta--that they’ve given up trying to hide it. On the team’s Web site, owner Mike Brown opines, “It has gotten to the point where ‘Bungles’ alliterates with ‘Bengals.’ ” It has gotten to the point where Bengal Coach Dick LeBeau, who needed 2.25 games to discover Gus Frerotte wasn’t the answer, has decided to send in Smith, a move usually followed shortly thereafter by sending out resumes. Smith admitted he was “a little bit shocked” by the move. Wait till Sunday.

Monday’s headline: “Bengals Drop to LeBeau-and-4”

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NEW ENGLAND AT SAN DIEGO

Kickoff: Sunday, 1:15 p.m.

The line: New England by 3

Quick slant: Big Big Ten showdown bigger now.

Plot: Tom Brady and Drew Brees meet again--and how time has flown since 1999, when Brady’s Michigan Wolverines defeated Brees’ Purdue Boilermakers, 38-12, behind Brady’s two touchdown passes. Over the next three years, Brady became the starting quarterback for the most improbable Super Bowl winner since Joe Namath’s Jets, and Brees took over a Charger offense that lost 26 of its previous 32 games. Today, Brady and Brees are both 3-0, which is big news coast to coast, although Brady enters this one with clearly the better supporting cast, same as it always was back in the Big Ten.

Monday’s headline: “It’s 1999 All Over Again”

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TENNESSEE AT OAKLAND

Kickoff: Sunday, 1:15 p.m.

TV: Channel 2

The line: Oakland by 6 1/2

Quick slant: It was a very different world eight years ago.

Plot: Eight years have passed since the then-Los Angeles Raiders defeated the then-Houston Oilers, 17-14, at the Coliseum. Since then, the Oilers moved to Tennessee and became the Titans, the Raiders moved to Oakland, the Titans went to the Super Bowl, the Raiders went to court ... and the Raiders have yet to win another game in this series. It’s Tennessee 3, Oakland 0, including last December’s 13-10 decision, assisted by three botched field goals by Sebastian Janikowski. With Eddie George limping and the Titan defense blowing 14-point fourth-quarter leads, it shouldn’t be that close Sunday.

Monday’s headline: “This Time, Raiders Move to 3-0”

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MINNESOTA AT SEATTLE

Kickoff: Sunday, 5:30 p.m.

TV: ESPN

The line: Seattle by 3

Quick slant: Randy Moss hits the road. Uh oh.

Plot: One week after cursing its luck over a Sunday night matchup between 0-2 Atlanta and 0-2 Cincinnati, ESPN gets dumped with this dog: 0-3 Minnesota at 0-3 Seattle. Good thing for ESPN Moss gets up for these nationally televised games like no one else. Moss’ unique take on the bump and run--using the front of his car to push a traffic officer halfway down the block--earned him a night in jail along with two misdemeanor charges and gave ESPN a story line to flesh out with expert analysis and graphic illustration, a way to keep viewers interested amid the missed tackles and overthrown passes.

Monday’s headline: “Vikings’ Drive Gets Stalled, Pulled Over”

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DENVER AT BALTIMORE

Kickoff: Monday, 6 p.m.

TV: Channel 7

The line: Denver by 7

Quick slant: Luckiest man in the world: Ringo Starr or Shannon Sharpe?

Plot: Sharpe’s charmed life has taken him from Denver, where he spent a decade with John Elway and won two Super Bowl championships, to Baltimore, where he won another championship before the salary cap went boom, back to Denver, where the Broncos are 3-0 while the bare-cupboard Ravens are four quarters away from 0-3. Omens Dept.: Denver has opened 3-0 seven times previously, reaching the Super Bowl in five of those seasons--including twice with Sharpe in 1997 and 1998. Baltimore still working on winning a game when Chris Redman starts at quarterback.

Tuesday’s headline: “Ravens Don’t Look So Sharpe”