Now Lion Fans Can Poke Fun at Others

It’s Wednesday in the second full week of NBA and NHL postseason play, and Detroit is still 0-for-the-2003 playoffs.

The Pistons, seeded No. 1 in the NBA East, dropped Game 1 of their series to the Orlando Magic on Sunday, four days after the Ducks completed their four-game sweep of the defending-champion Red Wings in hockey.

“The Pistons emerged like lions,” wrote columnist Mitch Albom in the Detroit Free Press, “then shot as if they had paws.”

The rims, he added, behaved “as if they were the posts behind Jean-Sebastien Giguere.”

But he has not lost hope.

“I feel confident they will advance,” he concluded, “just as I believe the Wings are still coming back to beat Anaheim.

“Hey. If rims and posts are into denial, I am too.”

OK, then let’s talk about those Tigers ...

Trivia question: Name the current New York Yankees who, on this day three years ago, each homered from both sides of the plate in a game against Toronto.

Three spot: Gary Payton has been charged with three counts of simple assault after he and Milwaukee Buck teammates Sam Cassell and Jason Caffey were involved in an incident outside a Toronto strip club.

Opined Seattle Times columnist Dwight Perry: “We don’t think this was quite what the Bucks had in mind when they envisioned Payton hitting the big three and involving teammates in the offense.”

Above par: The PGA Tour is off to one of those first-time-in-a-long-time starts.

After 16 weeks, there are already three three-time winners -- Tiger Woods, Mike Weir, and, with his victory in the MCI Heritage last weekend, Davis Love III.

The last time so many players won so early was 1950, when Sam Snead, Jimmy Demaret and Jack Burke Jr. each had three victories in the first 15 weeks.

There being a trio of three-time winners in a season is even somewhat rare. The last time that happened was 11 years ago.

The 1992 season was also the last time there were as many as five playoffs -- which also already has been equaled.

Soccer friendly: The Gloucestershire Citizen reports that the Norton Hill Rangers have a well-endowed opposing fan to blame for their recent 3-2 loss on penalty kicks to Wookey FC.

It seems that just as Ranger players prepared for their tie-breaking kicks, a shapely 25-year-old Wookey supporter lifted her shirt and gave them an eyeful.

“It was over in a flash,” the newspaper said, perhaps pen in cheek.

The deciding shot, appropriately, sailed “over the top” -- the kicker “clearly diverted from his original purpose.”

On this date: Ted Williams and Hank Aaron each hit his first major league home run. Williams did it in 1939, Aaron in 1954.

Trivia answer: Bernie Williams and Jorge Posada, who became the first teammates to accomplish the feat in the same game.

And finally: These are among David Letterman’s “Top Ten Excuses From the Guy Who Attacked The Umpire”:

9) “Let’s see you drink 15 beers and not do something stupid.”

3) “Pete Rose bet me I wouldn’t do it.”

1) “From my angle, he looked exactly like Uday Hussein.”

-- Mike Hiserman