Davis Couldn’t Block Allen’s Road to Hall

Quips, comments and pithy, 45 SPF sun-block analysis of the midsummer sports scene or, as we like to call it: The Puns of August.

News: Marcus Allen enshrined into Pro Football Hall of Fame.

Second thought: Most people remember the reverse-course, 74-yard touchdown run against Washington in the 1984 Super Bowl as the signature play of Allen’s career.

I remember another play, one that cuts to the core of his whatever-it-takes greatness.

It was Sept. 16, 1990, at Seattle’s Kingdome.

Allen was hip-deep in owner Al Davis’ doghouse, having been reduced to a role player in the Raider offense.

Late in the game, the Raiders trailed Seattle, 13-10, but had the ball on the Seahawks’ one-yard line.

Allen, arguably the best goal-line back ever, entered the game as a blocker in the Raiders’ three tight-end set, replacing the injured Mike Dyal.

Allen, tucked near the line behind Ethan Horton, threw the lead block for tailback Greg Bell on the game-winning touchdown.

You heard it right, Marcus Allen clearing space for Greg Bell.

In the locker room afterward, Allen shrugged his shoulders and said it was no big deal.

“Hey, guys,” he told reporters, “I’ve been playing football for a long time.”

Amazingly, for most of his Raider days, Allen played football with one foot tied behind his back as a highly compensated hostage in Davis’ almost maniacal menagerie.

It was no coincidence at Sunday’s enshrinement ceremonies in Canton, Ohio, that Allen thanked Davis for drafting him but thanked him for nothing else.

Allen went years without a raise, his salary locked at $1.1 million even as the Raiders paid Bo Jackson $1.48 million per part-time season.

Although he has now been confirmed as one of the best backs ever, Allen once watched as the Raiders paraded in Jackson, Roger Craig, Eric Dickerson and Bell to share the workload.

In hindsight, by freezing him out, Davis probably extended Allen’s career.

You can bet that was not the owner’s intention, but funny how it worked out in the end.

News: Dodgers trade for 36-year-old Robin Ventura.

Second thought: Ventura has definitely lost a step. In 1993, he was clocked at 2.1 seconds from home plate to the pitcher’s mound.

There, you will recall, he was clocked by Nolan Ryan.

News: NCAA places Utah athletics program on three years’ probation.

Second thought: Basketball coach Rick Majerus ran afoul of the rule book because he bought cheap meals for players at greasy-spoon restaurants, making Utah the first school to be cited by the NCAA for “lack of gastrointestinal control.”

News: “Alligator” pictured on University of Florida football media guide is actually a crocodile.

Second thought: Other media covers that have come under scrutiny:

* Santa Cruz: “Banana Slug” or common Black Garden mollusk?

* Iowa State: Cyclone or funnel cloud?

* Colorado State: Ram or Tibetan Yak?

* Northern Arizona: Lumberjack or itinerant carpenter?

News: Injury forces Serena Williams out of U.S. Open.

Second thought: Darn, I was so much looking forward to another scintillating Serena-Venus final at a tennis major.

News: Clippers match offer sheets and retain Elton Brand and Corey Maggette.

Second thought: If the front office can keep Lamar Odom and comb the woods for a point guard, who knows, this group could be the best Clipper team since the Buffalo Braves.

Say what?

Before the Clippers moved to L.A. from San Diego, they moved to San Diego from Buffalo. The Buffalo Braves’ record of 49-33 in 1974-75 is still the best in franchise history.

News: Tiger Woods switches from Nike driver back to Titleist.

Second thought: Fast-forward to Tiger’s next commercial shoot:

Tiger: “Phil was right, I was using inferior equipment, but my Nike contract says I can play any driver I want.”

Cut to picture of Titleist CEO: “And Tiger plays ours.”

News: Michigan star defensive back Marlin Jackson arrested on felony assault charges.

Second thought: If convicted, Jackson will join a select group of players to have gone from the Big House (Michigan Stadium) to the big house.

News: USC picked by media to win the Pacific 10 Conference football title.

Second thought: Good luck. The last school to win the conference championship without a veteran quarterback was Washington in 1991 with Billy Joe Hobert.

USC opens camp with its hopes pinned on sophomore Matt Leinart, who has yet to throw a pass in a game, and a promising freshman, John David Booty, who should still be throwing passes in high school.

USC opens at Auburn, and also plays at Notre Dame, Washington and Arizona State.

USC is teeming with talent, especially on defense, and could contend for the national title this coming season.

But my guess is the Trojans need another season of seasoning.

I’m picking Washington because the Huskies are led by senior quarterback Cody Pickett, potentially this year’s Carson Palmer.

I like Arizona State next because it has Andrew Walter, the second best quarterback in the conference. Arizona State also misses Washington on the schedule and gets USC in Tempe.

I picked USC to finish third.

UCLA? The Bruins are a year away. For first-year coach Karl Dorrell’s sake, let’s hope the year isn’t 2006.

News: Mike Tyson files for bankruptcy after squandering $300 million in prize money.

Second thought: Tyson obviously failed to take advantage of the World Boxing Council’s terrific employee retirement plan, the 401KO.