Choosing the Big Easy or Vegas Is a Crapshoot

The wife hasn’t asked for much in 31 years of marriage beyond a place to live, a ride to work and four sizable meals a day, so when she says she has a special request, the first thought, of course, is to honor it, while keeping your fingers crossed she’s not looking for company while watching “Average Joe.”

Turns out she’s sentimental. Who knew?

The wife said she wants an annual family reunion the first weekend of the new year in Las Vegas, and I’ve got to admit some of the best times we have ever had as a family have been around the craps table.

We made arrangements, and I notified the Grocery Store Bagger we would be going to Las Vegas the second weekend in January every year from now on. Unfortunately, the wife got to him with the correct dates, which I’ve now learned will conflict with the Sugar Bowl.

Hard to be in two places at the same time, so where should I go?

(No need for UCLA fans to e-mail, I already know your answer, and I’m guessing it’s not San Jose.)

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DO I spend time in New Orleans with my beloved Trojans, or get stuck in Las Vegas with the wife, the Bagger, the daughter who is trying to get pregnant and the other daughter who can’t get a date?

It would make it a whole lot easier, of course, if my favorite team stayed here and played in the Rose Bowl, still allowing for the reunion weekend in Las Vegas.

The problem, of course, is no one wants to go to the Rose Bowl unless you’re from out of town and getting ready to shovel some snow. Do you remember who played in last year’s game? I don’t either. I was in Miami with my favorite team.

Talk about a bunch of BCS. USC overran Oregon State on Saturday, and now has put together back-to-back, crowd-pleasing campaigns, including a Heisman Trophy performance last year, and yet here we go again -- when it comes time to smell the roses, no one wants to do it.

They were playing “Pour Some Sugar On Me” by Def Leppard on the Coliseum sound system after Saturday’s game, and I know this, because I asked someone, “Who’s making all that racket?”

Trojan students were shown on the scoreboard pouring sugar in their mouths. I believe it was sugar.

But looking up at the TV now, Louisiana State has just scored against Georgia, Syracuse has beaten Notre Dame, and on such a glorious day, I’m sure someone out there is already saying, “Well, that ruins it for USC.”

No wait, some guy writing on ESPN’s Web site makes the case that Boise State still has to beat Hawaii, and if that happens, then USC really will have to settle for the Rose Bowl. Settle for the Rose Bowl!

I’d like to think USC would be thrilled playing in a traditional Rose Bowl, my fellow Trojan fans filling the place, while giving me one more column to make fun of UCLA, forced to watch USC celebrate once again on the Bruins’ home turf. (You’d think by now the Bruin faithful would be used to that.)

Unfortunately, the next few days are going to be dedicated to computer controversy and its aftermath. One team is not going to be happy settling for an invitation to a major bowl that’s not played in New Orleans.

And that’s what is wrong with this whole BCS thing. It’s all about one bowl game now, the one I can’t go to without getting the silent treatment from the wife. Well, I suppose if I have to go to New Orleans....

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COLISEUM OFFICIALS at Saturday’s USC game were passing around a prototype of the Christmas card they intend to mail to every NFL owner, as well as NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue. The stylish cards are Christmas traditional with one significant exception: A final copy of the Coliseum’s certified environmental-impact report, complete with official seal, will be attached to each yuletide greeting.

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THE COMPLETED EIR process has put the Coliseum back on the NFL map -- the roaches in this place have nothing on the Coliseum Commission -- and gives the commission authority to do a deal with an NFL team on the move, while bypassing any interference from city and state officials as well as historical busybodies.

It places the Coliseum at least 18 months ahead of any other stadium proposal in the area with a plan to build a 78,000-seat facility with 198 luxury boxes -- and without public funds.

Best-case scenario for the Coliseum: The NFL provides the seed money to begin construction on a facility, or a developer, operating as a front for an NFL owner not wanting to go public at this time (i.e. Indianapolis or San Diego), does the same thing and the NFL makes its return here in 2007.

Odds of all this happening: What do you think?

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THE CHARGERS alerted the media Friday the team would finish practice and be available to the media at 10:30 a.m., and then “will board buses at 11:30 for its trip to Detroit.” Maybe if the Slugs had won more games they’d have been allowed to fly to Detroit instead of busing across country.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from Ken Coopman:

“Three points regarding UCLA Coach Karl Dorrell: 1) There was a coach for UCLA basketball that was a quiet gentleman. He won 10 national championships. His name is John Wooden. Emotional leadership takes different forms. 2) Dorrell and the Bruins may some day win a national championship; the Pulitzer Prize is definitely out of reach of T.J. Simers. 3) My daughter often expresses an interest in journalism. She is encouraged to read your column as an example of second-rate tabloid press.”

I’m not surprised I’m a bigger inspiration than Dullard.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com.