O.C. Needs a Touch of Gray at the Top

Ask any of my friends, they’ll tell you: I’m a glass half-full guy. When I’m not whistling a happy tune, I’m singing a simple song. Gripes? Sure, got a boatload of ‘em, but darned if I’ll let other people know that. Who likes an old mope?

Guided by that philosophy, I’ve been searching for something positive in the junta’s efforts to overthrow Gov. Davis.

It’s hard to find a silver lining behind a cloud bank of political losers who, less than a year after a statewide election went against them, try to game the system with a recall. But, as I said, I’m a pretty cheery fellow.

Here’s what I’m thinking:

The gray governor may be expelled after the special election in early October. People who want him out will be inspired to show up; people who are iffy about him might find something better to do on that Tuesday.

Then what? Is there a way to turn a negative into a positive?

The answer leaped from the Orange County headlines last week. The Board of Supervisors dismissed county Executive Officer Michael Schumacher in January and hasn’t found anyone to replace him, although several candidates are in the running.

Obviously, the board doesn’t have a lights-out candidate. The published list of wannabes includes various bureaucrats from inside and outside the county. Each probably brings some talents to the table, but has any of them ever run the most populous state in the nation? A state whose economy (when it’s functioning) rivals that of other countries? A man who sports not only chief executive experience but also a fine head of hair?

Only one person has those qualities: Gray Davis.

And he could become available, say about mid-October. Now if the board can only hang on for another couple months or so....

At this point, what’s the rush?

What a coup for the county. Instead of a nondescript former department head on the way up, we could get a former governor on the way down.

It’s kismet. These things don’t happen without a reason. What are the chances of a screwball recall movement coinciding exactly with an opening for Orange County’s top job? Got to be one in a million.

Would Davis want the job?

You bet. He can’t say so now, but the man’s gotta eat. He has to put bread on the table. I don’t know about the market for recalled governors, but I wouldn’t think he’d be deluged with offers.

It’s safe to say he won’t be hosting a talk show. A little short on the razzmatazz, if you know what I mean.

The man was born to administer. It’s all he knows. And if he’s considered a bit drab and covetous of money, what better county to run?

It’s perfect.

County Supervisor Bill Campbell wisely has said he’s not looking for a businessman. County government isn’t a business, so why run it like a business? Campbell says the next CEO needs to understand county finances and services.

Who’s better situated than a governor with experience dealing with all 58 of the state’s counties?

Davis is a Democrat (or so he says), and Orange County is still seen as Republican territory. And, yes, the county is a hotbed of anti-Davis activity.

That’s all the more reason to bring him down here. If our local revolutionaries want to knock him out of the governor’s chair, their payback should be to get him full-time.

It would be the sweetest irony.

If Davis were to decline the job, I fear the board might turn its attention to another high-profile figure, Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Let’s hope not. Everybody knows he’s not qualified to run a county.

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Dana Parsons’ column appears Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays. He can be reached at (714) 966-7821, at dana.parsons@latimes.com or at The Times’ Orange County edition, 1375 Sunflower Ave., Costa Mesa, CA 92626.