TWO-MINUTE DRILL

Houston 12, Buffalo 10: Note to Drew Bledsoe: It’s time to consider retirement when you get outplayed by Tony Banks.

Carolina 20, Washington 17: In misguided effort to woo AP voters, Spurrier touts Redskins’ strength of schedule.

St. Louis 23, Chicago 21: Kurt Warner told Martz to stick with Bulger. But first he asked, “Paper or plastic?”

Cincinnati 24, Kansas City 19: Bengals are tied for first. In a related story, farmers report that their pigs are flying.

Miami 9, Baltimore 6, OT: Just think, if this was soccer, the final would have been 3-2 in a shootout.

New Orleans 23, Atlanta 20, OT: The wait for Dan Reeves’ 201st victory begins.

Philadelphia 28, N.Y. Giants 10: Coincidence? Eagles are 6-1 since Rush Limbaugh resigned.

Cleveland 44, Arizona 6: OK Browns’ fans, when the euphoria wears off, remember this: You beat Arizona.

Tenn. 10, Jacksonville 3: Del Rio “sees no reason” Jaguars shouldn’t be considered a top team in division. Uh, you’re 2-8.

Denver 37, San Diego 8: On the plus side: Now it will be a lot easier to find a box of Flutie Flakes.

Indianapolis 38, N.Y. Jets 31: The punter scored a touchdown. That’s one more touchdown than Jerry Rice has scored.

Oakland 28, Minnesota 18: Rick Mirer can turn and hand off the ball as well as any quarterback in history.

Green Bay 20, Tampa Bay 13: The way the Buccaneers are defending their title, you’d think Mike Scioscia was their coach.

Seattle 35, Detroit 14: Safety Corey Harris “can’t explain” why Lions have lost 21 straight on the road. How about lack of talent?

New England 12, Dallas 0: This game capped off the most boring Sunday in NFL history.

Pittsburgh at San Francisco, tonight, 6, Ch. 7: This is a great matchup. If we’re in the year 2001.

-- Houston Mitchell