Roswell’s Quirky Territory Invaded by Aliso Viejo

“A male was flying a remote-control UFO that accidentally landed on the roof of a business,” the crime log of the Aliso Valley News reported.

“The male said he talked to several shop owners who had access to the roof and asked for their help, but they would not allow him because they thought he was crazy.”

Wait a minute! Here we may have the solution to the mystery of UFOs.

They’re not constructed by Martians but by some guy in Aliso Viejo. I smell a Pulitzer.

Speaking of spacey thinking: Paula Van Gelder of West L.A. was asked to complete a transportation survey form at work and wonders if one of the instructions embodies “a Zen concept -- beginning work even when you have a day off” (see accompanying).

Unusual instructions (cont.): A mail-order package obviously not meant to be opened by a young person caught the eye of Diana Britt of Pasadena (see accompanying).

Wishing you season’s slime! Thom Karlsen of Glendale read about a Christmas tree that, while undeniably possessing “class,” might make a bit of a mess as well (see accompanying).

I’m not a doctor but ... : Oprah Winfrey, during an interview with actor George Clooney, asked the former star of “ER” if he ever used the knowledge he gained as a TV doctor in real life.

Clooney told about the time he and a group of actors from that show, dressed in their scrubs, went out to lunch at the Smokehouse, a Burbank eatery near NBC Studios.

“No one knew who we were,” he said.

One of the actors brought his young son, who began to choke on a French fry.

Recalled Clooney: “We were shouting, ‘Someone do something!’ And everyone’s looking at these five doctors.... “

With the help of a restaurant worker, the lad coughed up the French fry.

Unclear on the concept: ESPN radio’s Dan Patrick was interviewing ex-UCLA basketball star Reggie Miller when the broadcast went silent.

About 15 seconds went by and then the station substituted this promo: “Give us a pre-set and you won’t miss a thing.”

Except when the broadcast loses audio.

miscelLAny: Pat Mooney of Torrance notes that the DVD version of a Courteney Cox Arquette movie will be released Dec. 20. Its title: “November.”

Asked Mooney: “Does the Procrastination Society know about this?”

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.