Getting Good Ratings Is Not as Simple as ABC

The outlook wasn’t brilliant for the NBA and ABC at the outset of the league’s championship series. There were only a few potential guests capable of juicing TV ratings for the Finals, and all of them failed to RSVP.

In order of NBA/ABC preference:

1. The Lakers. Self-implosion, never a pretty sight.

2. Shaquille O’Neal. Almost, almost. Then Dwyane Wade got hurt.

3. Michael Jordan. Couldn’t we just sneak him into the Pistons’ lineup for a week?

4. New York Knicks. In their dreams.

5. Phoenix Suns. Most exciting team in the sport went one for five in the Western Conference finals. Sad lesson learned: Defense -- during the playoffs, don’t leave home without it.

6. LeBron James. His next playoff game will be his first.

7. Dallas Mavericks. See “Phoenix Suns.”

What the NBA and ABC were stuck with were the Detroit Pistons and the San Antonio Spurs.

On the bright side, they are the two best teams in the league in 2005 and winners of the league’s last two championships.

On the downside, they are the Pistons and the Spurs.

What to do?

The NBA and ABC came up with this: Accentuate the positive, and see if we can dredge up a Laker angle for the pregame show. OK, that last bit is a tough one. Except Phil Jackson is out there! And he’s talking to the Lakers again! Let’s get him wired and on camera and have him announce his plans as a must-see lead-in to our hyped-up cataclysmic confrontation!

Then Game 1 happened Thursday night.

NBA/ABC: Um, can we get a do-over?

This is how ABC analyst Greg Anthony tried to set the stage for the Pistons and the Spurs: “Not only do you have the two best teams in the playoffs, you also have, I think, the two best coaches coaching in this series.

“I think you have unquestionably the best power forward who ever played the game. I think you have arguably the best defensive front line in the history of the game, and you also feature the two best backcourts playing in the NBA right now.”

This is what we got: Spurs 84, Detroit 69. The combined 153 points were the fourth-lowest total for an NBA Finals game. The record is 145 -- set, not coincidentally, by the Fort Wayne Pistons and the Syracuse Nationals in 1955.

Fifty years later, it is impressive to see the Pistons still at it. Meanwhile, word is that the Syracuse Nationals were the San Antonio Spurs of their day.

This is how ABC’s Mike Tirico set the stage for his pregame interview with Jackson: “Phil Jackson. Will he coach the Lakers? What are his thoughts on the Finals?”

This is what we got: Jackson telling Tirico that the excitement is “much ado about nothing. There’s nothing to say about the coaching situation, except I’m weighing my options.

“There’s some talking going on, but nothing’s been determined.”

The Jackson “bombshell” turned out to be the biggest on-air dud since Geraldo Rivera cracked open Al Capone’s vault and found nothing but dirt clods and debris and some old empty bottles. Which sort of describes the game that followed Jackson’s non-disclosure.

Near the end of a game in which the Spurs shot 43% and won by 15 points -- largely because the Pistons shot 37.7% -- Al Michaels sighed and tried to put a positive light on the proceedings, because ABC still has at least three more of these things to televise, the next one Sunday at 6 p.m.

“You know, Phoenix and Dallas can play basketball one way. It’s a lot of fun,” Michaels said. “And then you have these guys. And they play in an entirely different manner.

“It doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate it or enjoy it. Because a lot of people like to tie sports into work ethic and hard work and all of the rest. And the Pistons became kind of the poster boys for that last year. And the Spurs play the same way.

“So while it’s not elegant and graceful and you don’t have a lot of points, it’s [still] a heck of a basketball game.”

ABC hopes that’s enough to get people to tune into Game 2.

If not, well, there are other options this weekend:

TODAY

* 1984 NBA Finals, Game 4: Boston Celtics at Lakers

(ESPN Classic, 5 p.m.)

Conclusive videotape evidence that, no, it wasn’t always like this.

* Angels at New York Mets

(Channel 9, 4 p.m.)

Renewal of the 1986 World Series that almost was, should have been, but then Gene Mauch had Donnie Moore pitch to Dave Henderson.

* Minnesota Twins at Dodgers

(FSNW2, 7 p.m.)

Forty years ago, these teams met in the World Series. That one featured Sandy Koufax, Don Drysdale, Mudcat Grant and Jim Kaat. Tonight’s pitching matchup: Derek Lowe versus Carlos Silva.

* Real Salt Lake at Galaxy

(FSNW, 7 p.m.)

No World Cup qualifiers or international friendlies conspiring to take Landon Donovan, Tyrone Marshall and other Galaxy regulars out of the lineup this weekend.

SUNDAY

* San Jose Earthquakes at Chivas USA

(FSNW, 5 p.m.)

In an FSNW news release, “1996 MLS Coach of the Year and former Chivas USA coach Thomas Rongen joins the FSN West on-air team” for this game. Yes, former Chivas USA coach. Chivas USA has played 12 games in Major League Soccer. Chivas USA has won one of those, which explains the wording in Rongen’s current job description.