The real season, please?Maybe you miss having...

The real season, please?

Maybe you miss having the NFL in the Los Angeles area.

But has anyone ever really missed those preseason games?

The satirical site TheOnion.com suggests they are so meaningless they have thrown New York Giants tight end Jeremy Shockey into an “existential crisis.”

Peter King of Sports Illustrated wrote that it’s so bad, with top players not participating, that the “stupid” games should be eliminated entirely, or at least diminished.

With great pleasure, we in Los Angeles say: Not our problem.

Trivia time

What is the maximum number of colors The Jockey Club allows on horse racing silks?

Tough (tee) times

And you thought it was hard getting on a golf course in Southern California?

Lorena Ochoa, the women’s British Open champion from Mexico who will compete in the Samsung World Championship in Palm Desert in October, described the situation in her hometown:

“In Guadalajara, there are eight million in the city, and we have four golf courses, so there’s no places to play. It’s not accessible. That’s what we’re trying to do with the golf academies. We want to give everybody the chance to even get a golf club and hit some balls. We’re trying to change that.”

Another thing we like about Ochoa: She often treats groundskeepers, food service workers and maintenance crews -- many of them of Mexican descent -- to lunch at courses she plays.

State of the LPGA

No one should be surprised, but the website for the Samsung World Championship gives a pretty clear image of today’s LPGA.

There are two choices for language: English and Korean.

Keeping it simple

Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning on his straightforward but effective philosophy:

“Every time you drop back to throw, your goal is to possess the ball on the next play.”

How lame is this?

The NCAA announced its support for “College Colors Day,” scheduled for Friday.

The Collegiate Licensing Company is encouraging schools, athletes, fans, alumni and students to wear officially licensed apparel.

Don’t do it. Please.

Ahem

Andy Rooney, the CBS commentator, recently wrote in a syndicated column for The Stamford (Conn.) Times that he doesn’t like baseball these days because the stars “are all guys named Rodriguez,” the South Florida Sun-Sentinel noted.

“They’re apparently very good but they haven’t caught my interest,” Rooney wrote.

Somebody make him retire already.

Hair raising

Maurice Jones-Drew, the former UCLA running back now with the Jacksonville Jaguars, didn’t have much good to say about those who doubted him because of his diminutive size.

“You can’t measure heart,” he told ESPN The Magazine when asked about Mel Kiper’s draft analysis. “I was the seventh running back on his list; he said I’d only be a returner.

“Analysts shouldn’t matter, even ones with such impressive hair.”

More from

The Onion

Sales of Michael Vick’s 2008 jersey are going well, according to TheOnion.com.

The illustration: An orange jumpsuit with Vick’s No. 7 on the back.

Trivia answer

Four. Two on the jacket and two on the sleeves.

And finally

Tiger Woods, appearing on NBC’s “Today Show” with Matt Lauer in part to promote a video game, reacting to Lauer’s displeasure at the bald spot depicted on his video persona:

“It’s not a bald spot,” Woods told Lauer. “It’s more like a divot.”

--

robyn.norwood@latimes.com