Pac-12, DirecTV war will send this USC watcher into radio daze

Today, at 3 p.m., because of this situation with DirecTV, I’m going to pretend it’s 1938 and get all sentimental and gooey and nostalgic.

It’s too hot to gather around a fireplace, but I’m going to listen to the Cal-USC game on the radio.

Just like my parents did with Jack Benny, I’m going to close my eyes and picture USC players running around the Coliseum chasing Cal players. I wonder if “Wrong Way” Roy Riegels is still on the roster?

Sure, I’m the national college football columnist for the L.A. Times, and it would be nice to watch a team that two weeks ago was No. 1, but as a DirecTV customer I’m caught in the war between a cable company and the Pac 12.

As of Saturday morning, the two parties have yet to reach agreement, so I am left to turn my eyes over to 710 ESPN Radio.

Can USC’s offensive line protect quarterback Matt Barkley?

Play-by-play man Pete Arbogast will have to paint the pictures in my mind with analyst Paul McDonald breaking down the Xs and O’s.

I’m sure, in the spirit of play-it-down-the-middle Tom Kelly--”Oh Mercy Nurse!”--they will provide an objective and evenhanded account.

I must trust them.

The Pac-12 was hoping USC-Cal would be the marquee matchup that would force DirecTV into making a deal. Unfortunately, DTV got the upper hand when both schools lost last week. At one point this week, DirecTV listed the game in its release dismissively as “In other Pac 12 action” before later modifying to the less snarky, “currently unavailable.”

The two parties are throwing PR barbs back and forth. The Pac 12 is asking customers to complain and DirecTV is noting all the Pac 12 games you can already receive with the current package.

None of that will do me any good Saturday. So, I’ll pull up an easy chair, maybe smoke a pipe, and let my mind slip into the wondrous world of the wireless.

I’m hoping, after the game, 710 AM might air a replay of “War of the Worlds.” Of course, in the ACC today, that is known as “Clemson at Florida State.”

ALSO:

Manti Te’o thanks Notre Dame fans for their support

Oregon vs. Arizona features spread-option masterminds

Mailbag: Trojans can run but USC Coach Lane Kiffin can’t hide