Yes, but Did You Hear This Yogi Berra Story?

Ralph Kiner has a book called “Kiner’s Korner,” and Bruce Keidan of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette says, “It is astonishingly good.”

Kiner, a New York Mets announcer since the team’s inception, naturally tells some Yogi Berra stories, including the one about Yogi’s attempts on the road to reach his wife Carmen by phone.

He spent four hours dialing their home in northern New Jersey without getting an answer. Finally, he succeeded in reaching her.

“Where have you been?” he demanded.

“I went to see ‘Doctor Zhivago,’ ” she said.

“What’s wrong with you now?” he snapped.

In his book “Ball Four,” Jim Bouton wrote, “You spend a piece of your life gripping a baseball and in the end it turns out that it was the other way around all the time.”

He also wrote, “People who become baseball coaches are not easily bored. You ever see a baby play with a rattle for two hours?”

The following appeared on the Associated Press wire this week: “TEANECK, N.J.--Jim Bouton, the former New York Yankees pitcher who later turned author, has been named special spring training pitching instructor at Fairleigh Dickinson, Coach Dennis Sasso said.”

Trivia Time: Name the only active player who has appeared in two perfect games? (Answer below.)

Ken Denlinger of the Washington Post, on the NFL draft: “The Chicago Bears blew it on the first round. By far, quarterback Jim Harbaugh is the worst of the anointed 28. Like Doug Flutie, all he lacks is a major-league arm and consistency.”

Coach Mike Ditka, who also has Jim McMahon, Mike Tomczak and Steve Fuller at quarterback, told reporters, “We’ve done a good job of confusing you and us.”

Said Fuller: “I don’t know whether to get in touch with my realtor or just go out and work harder.”

Vinny Testaverde of Tampa Bay has purchased a new Lincoln town car for his father and intends to buy his mother the car of her choice.

“No, it won’t be a Porsche,” she told Newsday. “I don’t think I’d feel right driving it into the shopping center.”

Just Asking: Can any school system in the country match the L.A. City Schools in turning out major league talent? Here’s a current all-star team:

1B--Eddie Murray (Locke); 2B--Doug DeCinces (Monroe); SS--Ozzie Smith (Locke); 3B--Chris Brown (Crenshaw); OF--Darryl Strawberry (Crenshaw), Eric Davis (Fremont), Dwight Evans (Chatsworth); DH--Chili Davis (Dorsey); C--Alan Ashby (San Pedro); P--Bret Saberhagen (Cleveland).

The bench would include Chet Lemon (Fremont), George Hendrick (Fremont), Robin Yount (Taft) and Gary Matthews (San Fernando).

The manager? Sparky Anderson (Dorsey) or Gene Mauch (Fremont)--take your choice.

Trivia Answer: Reggie Jackson. He played for Oakland when Catfish Hunter beat Minnesota, 4-0, with a perfect game in 1968. He played for the Angels when Mike Witt beat Texas, 1-0, in 1984. Jackson was 0 for 4 in both games, although his fielder’s choice grounder brought in the only run for the Angels.

Quotebook

Stanford Coach Jack Elway, on the drafting of Cardinal linebacker Dave Wyman by the Seattle Seahawks: “The only thing that upsets me is that Denver didn’t get him. With Seattle, he could do things to John Elway, where John won’t be able to remember his name.”