Hey Coach, Try Looking at Playoffs From This Perspective

You’re staring into your morning bowl of Alpha Bits, but you see only X’s and O’s. The tea kettle is whistling, and you brace yourself for a penalty. Your dog’s barking to get in the house, but all you hear is a third-stringer asking to get into the game.

You’re stressed. Under duress. In a daze. An Orange County coach in a semifinal craze.

If you’re one of the few county coaches still alive in the Southern Section football playoffs, sit back, lighten up and stop worrying.

OK, so that’s asking the impossible. But for the next few moments, at least let us try to do your fretting and figuring for you.

We’ll start at the top. Division I, that is.

Mater Dei.

So the Monarchs showed no mercy for Fontana, sticking it to the second-seeded Steelers, 46-16. So Billy Blanton showed the Inland Empire what a premier passing game is all about. So someone finally forced Taunt-ana to shut its nasty mouth.

You think Bruce Rollinson’s happy? Are you kidding? Did anyone get a count on how many times he said the word “baby” Friday night?

Next up for the Monarchs is a home game--against Loyola, the only team Mater Dei lost to this season. Safe to say, motivation will not be a problem. Another victory puts Mater Dei in the final--most likely against Eisenhower, the nation’s top-ranked team.

If any game’s worth a worry, that would be it.

DIVISION II

Dana Hills and Irvine.

Followers of Division II football probably wondered if it was a typo. Mission Viejo knocked out in the first round? El Toro not invited? Capistrano Valley nowhere to be seen?

Perhaps it’s a sign of a new South Coast League order, something that must finally give hope to league pauper San Clemente.

Dana Hills has shown its defensive might (apparently, it hurts very much), and Irvine has the league’s top quarterback in Jason Minici. This weekend, Dana Hills plays Compton Dominguez, and Irvine plays Pasadena Muir.

DIVISION III

Esperanza, Los Alamitos.

C’mon, Aztecs. This winning streak is getting a bit dull. Drop a ball, dirty your jersey, play eight-man football for a quarter or two.

Your next game is against Schurr, a 28-14 winner over your Empire League pal, Loara. Surely, Esperanza, your worries are few.

As for Los Alamitos, well, a big nice try to Coach John Barnes. It took a 20-14 double overtime victory over Hawthorne to get this far. Saturday, your Griffins have to play third-seeded Newhall Hart. Then, if you reach the final, well, you know who’ll be awaiting.

Try not to sweat it.

DIVISION VI

Valencia, Tustin, Woodbridge and University.

All four teams survived to ensure another all-Orange County final. But who would bet against Valencia?

The Tigers, who take on Woodbridge Saturday, have outscored their playoff opponents, 72-0. They are 12-0. They have more talent than Ringling Brothers.

How can they be stopped?

Ask them to dance.

It just so happens that the majority of Valencia’s offensive statistics are racked up by fellows with happy feet. Running backs Willie Barnes, Ryan Roskelley and twins Kevin and Korey Alexander actually formed a dance troupe last summer and love to show their steps any chance they get.

Maybe, Warriors, if you scream “moonwalk” at the snap, one of these fleet-footed players will fumble. Or maybe they’ll at least pause to pick up on the beat from the band.

On second thought, never mind. They’ll probably be just that much more inspired to dance their way into the end zone.

DIVISION VII

Trabuco Hills and Laguna Hills.

Unseeded Trabuco Hills drove nearly 300 miles on Friday take on second-seeded Arroyo Grande and found another opponent awaiting--winds of 40 m.p.h.

Under those conditions, quarterback Pat Barnes, the Mustangs’ mainstay, was left out in the cold, so Jeff Clayton picked up the slack with 215 yards rushing and two touchdowns in the 26-10 upset. Trabuco Hills faces La Mirada Saturday.

Laguna Hills followed the footsteps of running back David Webber (172 yards and three touchdowns) to a 31-17 victory over fourth-seeded Temple City. The Hawks play host to Santa Maria Righetti Friday.

DIVISION X

Calvary Chapel, Southern California Christian.

Top-seeded Calvary Chapel, of Santa Ana, trounced Trona, 27-14, Friday and plays at Sun Valley Village Christian next Saturday.

Third-seeded Southern California Christian, of Orange, beat Maranatha, 37-8, Friday, and will play host to Rosamond.

Calvary Chapel and SCC probably can count on an all-Orange County final Dec. 13.

What does this all mean?

Mostly, that you coaches can go back to worrying now.