The Sailors’ Excellent Adventure

The topic of discussion, initially at least, was volleyball. How dead dogs drifted into the conversation was anyone’s guess.

This was, after all, supposed to be a routine interview with the Newport Harbor boys’ volleyball team. You know Newport Harbor--best in Orange County, top-ranked in the Southern Section 4-A. The team whose motto is, “We kill--you dig?”

In any case, the Sailors were good enough to give up a couple hours of their time Monday night to sit down and discuss the secrets of their success. (OK, so they were bribed with all the free pizza they could eat--it’s not easy convincing teen-agers to sacrifice homework time, you know.)

We buckled down to the task. Decided to hit them with the tough questions first.

So, what do you guys want on your pizza?

OK, on to Question No. 2.

So, you guys are 5-0, winners of the Orange County Championships, and have a chance to be the greatest team in Newport Harbor history. What do you have to say for yourselves?

For a moment, there were only blank stares. A pizza-induced zone out, no doubt. Then suddenly they came to life, all at once spewing words and phrases in varying forms of teen-speak. It was free association, adolescent style. A John Hughes movie, fast forwarded.

“Iron Maiden!” said one, presumably referring to the heavy metal rock group, not a woman of heavy metal.

“Yeah,” said another. “Iron Maiden rips!”

“Bogus,” said a third.

“Hey,” said the scruffy, surfer-looking one. “We’re getting our heads shaved tomorrow!”

“Not!”

“Yes way!”

Actually, it wasn’t as tough to sort out as it seems. Basically, their story is a simple one: A collection of the most diverse teen-aged personalities on the planet somehow managed to merge to become the talent-packed Newport Harbor volleyball team. There are subplots, of course.

One is named Russell--Russell Gan. He’s the setter, the guy who provides nice, quiet, perfectly placed passes so a teammate can have all the fun--bashing the ball straight down the other team’s windpipes.

In junior high, a P.E. teacher told Russell he had no future in volleyball because, physically, he was just too slow. It’s true; he is slow. Russell says so. His coach says so. But his teammates say the team lives and dies by his soft-setting hands. Apparently, this means every time Russell feels like karate chopping a stack of bricks, he has to pass. It’s the price you pay.

(A teammate pointed out that Russell had to put his cocker spaniel, LeRoy, to sleep recently. The dog’s ashes are kept in a wooden box on a shelf above Russell’s bed. A photo of LeRoy, in his living state, is pasted on the outside of the box. We thanked him for this important information.)

Then there’s Justin McIntee and Frank Griffo, senior middle blockers. You’ll know Justin by his surf slang, scruffy semi-beard, and soon-to-be shaved head.

Frank’s the 6-foot-7 guy with the extremely strong quadriceps, thanks to several weeks of riding his bike to and from Newport Harbor from his parents’ home in Mission Viejo. Don’t fret, safety bugs. He now drives a Volvo.

Senior back-row specialist Louis Baker is the player the Sailors would currently like to choke--or at least grumble at. Seems his performance in the upcoming school play, The Pajama Game, will result in a pajama practice.

The play is Thursday evening, so the team will practice at 6 a.m. “It’s OK, really,” Coach Dan Glenn says. “We’re just going to practice in the morning so we can all heckle him at the play that night.”

Amin Mirhadi, a reserve middle blocker who also plays football and basketball, is known as Amin the Almanac. Has one of those memories that can be downright eerie. Go ahead. Ask him the score of any Newport Harbor football game 10 years ago. Or 20 years ago. Heck, ask him the names of the original cast of The Love Boat. That ought to at least faze him a bit.

There’s also a few sidelined sub-plots. Namely Beau Sheward, a standout outside hitter who needs to improve his grades before he can improve the team with his presence. And recent all-Hawaii transfer Tanoa Weygand, who on Tuesday was denied a hardship appeal by the Southern Section and won’t be able to compete.

Weygand, who grew up in Newport Beach, has known most of the Sailors all the way back to the early days of junior high. Back when G.I. Joe was a boy’s best friend and girls were on par with lima beans. You know, yucky.

Anyway, after four years of volleyball on the Big Island--Hawaii schools play boys’ volleyball in the fall--he figured he could scoot over to the mainland to finish his prep career with his old friends, not to mention gain the attention he needed to land a scholarship.

Weygand’s hardship appeal was based on his asthma; he said the volcanic ash in the Hawaiian air made it impossible for him to perform his best. Now that his appeal has been denied, he says he’ll still hang out with the Sailors.

The conversation alone has got to be worth it.