Say Ugh : Statistically, 1987 L.A. Teams Might Have Been Worse, but the 1991-92 Season Simply Feels as Bad as It Gets

Ground ball to Jose Offerman . . . . Jay Schroeder drops back to pass . . . . Handoff to Cleveland Gary . . . . Now batting, Von Hayes. . . . Twenty-five footer by Vlade Divac . . . . Wayne Gretzky crosses the blue line and clutches his back . . . . Ladies and gentlemen, Bo Kimble . . . .

Welcome to the worst year in Los Angeles sports history. Like we needed this? What with the riots and earthquakes?

OK, statistical nit-pickers, 1987 was technically worse. That year, the Lakers were the only area professional team with a winning record. The seven teams--Lakers, Kings, Dodgers, Angels, Clippers, Rams and Raiders--combined for a winning percentage of .424.

But although six of the franchises were clearly eyesores, the Lakers at least eased the pain with another NBA championship, defeating the Boston Celtics.

Another reason to discount, 1987? It was the year of the 24-day NFL strike. During the walkout, NFL owners hired replacement players for regulation games, which obviously contributed to woeful seasons for the Rams (6-9) and Raiders (5-10).

But never has there been a 12-month period like this. Consider the emotional factor alone. Magic Johnson was forced to retire after contracting HIV. Bo Jackson retired from the Raiders as a result of a severe hip injury he suffered in a 1991 playoff game against Cincinnati.

In 1992, Bo knew hip-replacement surgery.

It was the year Darryl Strawberry was lost to a back injury, sabotaging what was supposed to have been a joyful reunion with his boyhood

friend, Eric Davis. So much for that 1-2 punch in the Dodger lineup.

It might also soon be check-out time for the Kings’ Wayne Gretzky, who wages war with his diminishing skills and a sore back that jeopardizes his coming season.

And, this is the year that an old reliable, the Dodgers, could finish in last place for the first time since 1905. Their shortstop, Offerman, has committed 41 errors. Their front office, some would say, has committed a crime.

It was a year, strangely, in which the Clippers--so long Los Angeles’ doorstop--stepped up to take center stage after years of futility. But improved as they were under new Coach Larry Brown, the Clippers were eliminated in the first round of the playoffs by the Utah Jazz.

The year, in a word?

Yuck!

The seven area teams have combined for a .470 winning percentage so far in 1992, and it’s still early. The Rams (1-2) and Raiders (0-3) show few signs of hope.

This is the first year in memory where there has not been a serious contender among the seven teams.

What went wrong?

In 1984-85, the year the Clippers arrived in Los Angeles, the seven teams posted their highest combined winning percentage, .572. (Note: the percentage dips to .562 if you count the USFL’s Los Angeles Express, which posted a 3-15 record in its last season of existence).

In 1985, the Dodgers and Angels won 95 and 90 games, respectively. The Dodgers were perhaps one pitch, Tom Niedenfuer’s to St. Louis’ Jack Clark, from advancing to the World Series.

The Lakers won 62 games and another NBA title. The Rams advanced to the NFC title game. The Raiders finished 12-4. The Kings were two games over .500.

And now, this:

Dodgers (60-90)--Thank goodness for first basemen Eric Karros, the probable National League rookie of the year and the only Dodger with more than 40 RBIs this season before Monday night’s game. The season has been miserable enough to consider life without Manager Tom Lasorda, the Dodger anchor since 1977, who may be the next general manager/manager of the St. Petersburg Giants. Can you blame him? The only Dodger starter with a winning record this season is Pedro Astacio, who is 4-3.

Angels (67-82)--It has been a disastrous season all around. The team hired front-office wizard Whitey Herzog to straighten out a big mess. He traded top pitching prospect Kyle Abbott and outfielder Ruben Amaro Jr. for Von Hayes, who did not last the season. The Angels, seemingly cursed with bad luck through the years, had to endure a near-tragic bus accident that seriously injured Manager Buck Rodgers.

Lakers (43-39)--They battled valiantly after Johnson’s stunning November retirement announcement. But talent, not heart, usually wins out. In what might have been the year’s sporting highlight, the Lakers beat the Clippers in the regular-season finale to qualify for the playoffs. But the Lakers bowed out quickly in the playoffs, losing a first-round matchup against Portland.

It comes down to this: If Johnson returns this season, the future may be bright. If not, the future is bleak.

Clippers (45-37)--Larry Brown replaced Mike Schuler at the All-Star break and led the team to a 23-12 second-half record and a playoff appearance. The Clippers extended Utah to five games in the first round before losing.

Hard to believe that the Clippers might be Los Angeles’ last best hope.

Rams (1-2)--They lost 11 games in a row dating back to last season before beating the lowly New England Patriots, 14-0, on Sept 13. Sunday, it was more of the same in a 26-10 loss to the Miami Dolphins. So far, new Coach Chuck Knox has not been the answer.

Raiders (0-3)--They have lost seven consecutive games dating to last season but still are not convinced that Marcus Allen is their best running back. The Raiders have already lost two games on the schedule they were supposed to win, against Cincinnati and Cleveland, and now face a remaining schedule that includes Kansas City twice, Washington, Philadelphia and Miami on the road, and home games against Dallas and Buffalo.

Memo to Raider fans: Just worry, baby.

Kings (35-31-14)--How about that Jari Kurri trade? There were years when King fans would have rejoiced over any winning season. But the stakes are higher when the owner pays a fortune to bring to town perhaps the greatest hockey player of all time. In four seasons, however, Gretzky has yet to produce a Stanley Cup. He’s 31 now and his back is acting up. Owner Bruce McNall, who has given so much to make his team a contender, now says he will withhold use of the team’s private plane until his team produces on the ice.

It has been that kind of year.