Week 15 Breakdown

SEATTLE AT ATLANTA

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: Atlanta by 10

Quick slant: The Candy Man can.

Plot: While Seahawk trainers pore over the results of Matt Hasselbeck’s ankle MRI -- warming up in the bullpen ... Jeff George -- the Falcons and the media and fans in Atlanta are concerned with happier issues, such as which candy Michael Vick is going to endorse. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution Web site conducted a poll asking, “What candy endorsement would best suit Mike Vick’s playing style best?” Tied for the lead with 25% of the vote: Mr. Goodbar (the Vikings are still looking for him) and 100 Grand. What about Nestle’s Crunch? Or didn’t they watch Vick against Tampa Bay last game?

Monday’s headline: “Vick Pours It On Good & Plenty”

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N.Y. JETS AT CHICAGO

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: New York by 6 1/2

Quick slant: Poor Dick Jauron.

Plot: The pressure appears to be getting to Chicago’s Jauron, who in 12 months has regressed from NFL Coach of the Year to a hollow-eyed wreck muttering to himself like a crazy person. Recently, when asked by reporters about the status of his radio show, Jauron replied, “It’s not my show, but I’m on that show.” When asked how Bear Roosevelt Williams could get caught and dragged down from behind on his fumble return against Green Bay, Jauron said it was because of Williams “not getting into an athletic rhythm.” Judging from Chicago’s 3-10 record, Williams isn’t the only Bear with that affliction.

Monday’s headline: “Still Waiting For Bears To Get Into Athletic Rhythm”

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OAKLAND AT MIAMI

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

TV: Channel 2

The line: Miami by 1 1/2

Quick slant: Save Marino’s record!

Plot: That’s the Dolphins’ battle cry as Raider Rich Gannon invades Miami on pace to break Dan Marino’s single-season passing mark of 5,084 yards. After logging his 10th 300-yard passing game this season, which broke another Marino record, Gannon remains on pace to pass for 5,175 yards. As you might expect, this hasn’t sat well with Marino, who says Gannon should not be the league’s most valuable player because “I would pay to watch Michael Vick play. I wouldn’t pay to watch Rich Gannon play, so Michael Vick is the MVP.” With logic like that, Jay Fiedler would be out of football by now.

Monday’s headline: “Gannon Makes Marino, Dolphins Pay”

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TAMPA BAY AT DETROIT

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: Tampa Bay by 8 1/2

Quick slant: Be careful what you wish for.

Plot: The Buccaneers chew up young quarterbacks, don’t they? It hasn’t been a week since the Tampa Bay defense clamped down on Michael Vick and here goes Detroit’s Joey Harrington, popping off about wanting to get “ear-holed” by Warren Sapp. See, young Joey tried to explain, he once read an interview in which Sapp said he respected Brett Favre because Favre kept getting up after Sapp hit him and, well, young Joey, wants that same kind of respect. Sapp told Detroit reporters he would try to accommodate the rookie. “Oh, yeah, definitely,” he said. “If they’re going to give up one of them.”

Monday’s headline: “Harrington’s Ear Hole Still Ringing”

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BALTIMORE AT HOUSTON

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: Baltimore by 3

Quick slant: Houston’s offensive strategy? Yes, it is.

Plot: “Nothing from nothing leaves nothing.” Old Billy Preston lyric? Or new Texan offensive game plan? Sunday in Pittsburgh, the Texans amassed 47 yards and three first downs -- and still won, 24-6, thanks to three defensive touchdowns. Texan tight end Billy Miller was so embarrassed, he returned to practice wearing a cap that read “Texans Special Teams.” And this was after Miller probably set a record by becoming the first tight end to make all his team’s catches in a single game. Yes, he caught all three. So why the embarrassment? The Ravens once won a Super Bowl playing exactly this way.

Monday’s headline: “Ravens Remember Good Old Days, Win, 9-3”

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SAN DIEGO AT BUFFALO

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: Buffalo by 3

Quick slant: Me and you and two quarterbacks named Drew.

Plot: It’s old Drew against new Drew as Bledsoe and Brees try to keep their respective teams’ playoff hopes flickering Sunday amid snow blowers and hand warmers. At 6-7, Bledsoe’s Bills are at the end of their rope, which explains why they are favored over the 8-5 Chargers. Another reason: The Chargers are 2-4 in their last six games. “We’re definitely living on the edge,” San Diego Coach Marty Schottenheimer says. “We’ve got a few plays with [Doug] Flutie at wide receiver ... I’m serious. Why not?” Other than Flutie being 40, pint-sized and a quarterback, it sounds like a stroke of genius.

Monday’s headline: “Brees Freezes”

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CAROLINA AT PITTSBURGH

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: Pittsburgh by 8 1/2

Quick slant: Steelers give thanks: No more expansion teams on the schedule.

Plot: As long as the NFL keeps expanding, the Steelers will be there to distribute welcome-to-the-neighborhood gifts. In 1995, the Steelers lost to the expansion Jaguars, 20-16. In 1999, the Steelers lost to the expansion Browns, 16-15. And last week, the Steelers lost to the expansion Texans, 24-6, despite advantages of 375 more yards and 21 more first downs. At the same time, the Panthers, a ’95 expansion team, were scoring 52 points against Cincinnati to win their second game in a row. If the Steelers aren’t concerned, they should be. A very nasty quarterback controversy is only another upset away.

Monday’s headline: “Christmas Doesn’t Come Early For Carolina”

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MINNESOTA AT NEW ORLEANS

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: New Orleans by 7

Quick slant: Before the yellow flags, we distinctly saw the white one.

Plot: And all this time we thought the fight had gone out of the Vikings somewhere around the kickoff of the 2000 NFC final. How about that scrum against the Packers at the end of Minnesota’s come-from-ahead loss to Green Bay? Might the awful officiating in that game have triggered the Vikings’ temper? It’s possible, considering that the league admitted the officials committed nine mistakes in the Packers’ 26-22 victory -- most of them at the expense of the Vikings. That explains one Minnesota defeat. What about the other 11, including the one coming Sunday in the Superdome?

Monday’s headline: “Needing All The Help They Can Get, Vikings Don’t Get It”

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WASHINGTON AT PHILADELPHIA

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

TV: Channel 11

The line: Philadelphia by 7 1/2

Quick slant: Andy Reid shows Steve Spurrier a thing or two about shuffling quarterbacks.

Plot: If you were an NFL coach and into messing with your quarterbacks’ minds, as Spurrier is, or just desperate for an able body to line up over center, as Reid is, which quarterbacks would you rather shuffle? Donovan McNabb, Koy Detmer and A.J. Feeley? Or Shane Matthews, Danny Wuerffel and Patrick Ramsey? The 10-3 Eagles know the answer. Sunday, Reid will give Feeley his third NFL start while Spurrier’s blindfolded dart throw wound up hitting Ramsey’s name again. What does it all mean? Very soon, the 11-3 Eagles will provide the answer.

Monday’s headline: “Redskins Shuffle Off To 5-9”

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JACKSONVILLE AT CINCINNATI

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: Jacksonville by 3

Quick slant: Last-ever Coughlin-LeBeau matchup?

Plot: Good relations with the team owner can carry a coach only so far, as Cincinnati’s Dick LeBeau and Jacksonville’s Tom Coughlin may soon find out. Even Mike Brown probably noticed that Cincinnati’s 52-31 loss to Carolina was especially wretched, even by Bengal standards. Jaguar owner Wayne Weaver criticized Coughlin’s defensive strategy on last week’s game-losing Hail Mary pass against Cleveland. “He’s entitled to his opinion,” Coughlin said, “and, yes, we should have had five guys standing there at the 20-yard line ... Wayne is right and that’s that.” Or at least Coughlin hopes.

Monday’s headline: “Jaguars Are Better Than Bengals, And That’s That”

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INDIANAPOLIS AT CLEVELAND

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: Indianapolis by 2 1/2

Quick slant: Football gods cut Browns their break.

Plot: If it’s true that the breaks always even out in the end, does last week’s Hail Mary game-winner against Jacksonville balance the ledger for the Browns three months after Dwayne Rudd’s infamous helmet spike? And if so, does that mean the Browns are back on their own? By all rights, this game should be meaningless for Cleveland, which trailed the Jaguars the entire game, until the clock read “0:00” and Quincy Morgan had the ball in the end zone. Coupled with the Steelers’ giveaway to Houston, the Browns remain a half-game out of first. Down side: the Browns are 2-4 in Cleveland.

Monday’s headline: “Browns Still Don’t Have a Prayer at Home”

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KANSAS CITY AT DENVER

Kickoff: Sunday, 1 p.m.

The line: Denver by 3 1/2

Quick slant: Does the best offense in football belong in the playoffs?

Plot: Can Priest Holmes break Marshall Faulk’s single-season total yards and touchdown records? Can Trent Green break Len Dawson’s single-season club record for touchdown passes? Can the Chiefs break .500? Bidding to become the eighth team to score 500 points in a season, Kansas City is also bidding to become the first 500-point team to miss the playoffs. At 7-6, the Chiefs probably need to sweep their remaining Denver-San Diego-Oakland gantlet to assure a playoff berth. That hard road begins in Denver, with the Broncos also 7-6 and desperate to end a three-game losing streak.

Monday’s headline: “Footballs Fly At Mile High, Broncos Don’t”

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DALLAS AT N.Y. GIANTS

Kickoff: Sunday, 1:15 p.m.

The line: New York by 5

The slant: Last-ever Campo-Fassel matchup?

Plot: Jim Fassel won an NFC championship for the Giants two years ago. Dave Campo is well-liked by Dallas owner Jerry Jones because he does what Jones tells him. But both coaches find their goodwill reserves running close to empty after recent events -- Fassel mishandling the Dec. 1 loss to Tennessee, Campo blowing another lead against San Francisco, the Cowboys’ seventh loss this season when ahead or tied in the fourth quarter. “Everybody’s counting us out but we’re still alive,” Fassel said after the Giants beat Washington last week. “It will be over when we say it’s over.” Yeah, right.

Monday’s headline: “It’s Over For Campo, With Fassel On Deck”

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GREEN BAY AT SAN FRANCISCO

Kickoff: Sunday, 1:15 p.m.

TV: Channel 11

The line: San Francisco by 3

Quick slant: Favre locates more devout cowards.

Plot: Preparing for this late-season clash of teams that peaked too soon, Green Bay’s Brett Favre studied the newspaper quotes from Jeff Garcia and Terrell Owens griping about the 49ers’ “conservative” offensive play-calling and believes he has spotted a weakness. “If you have a beef with [the coach], go to his office,” Favre said during a conference call this week. “Be a man and go face to face with him and tell him you have a problem with what is going on. Don’t do it in the paper. That’s kind of cowardly.” That’s why Favre is 8-1 in his last nine meetings with the 49ers. And going on 9-1.

Monday’s headline: “Favre Takes It To Mariucci’s Office”

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ARIZONA AT ST. LOUIS

Kickoff: Sunday, 5:30 p.m.

TV: ESPN

The line: St. Louis by 11

Quick slant: Cardinals return to St. Louis. Big deal.

Plot: Two teams already playing for next year -- although in the case of the Cardinals, considering what’s gone on with them in the last 60 years, you’d have to say: Why bother? How bad are the Cardinals? The Cardinals won last week, the Rams have been eliminated from playoff contention, Kurt Warner won’t play, Marshall Faulk might not play. The Rams are still favored by 11 points. One reason why: Marc Bulger, the only Ram quarterback to win a game this season, returns to the lineup, kicking off the NFL’s greatest quarterback controversy of 2003 10 months early.

Monday’s headline: “Cardinal QB Controversy For 2003: Anybody Vs. Plummer”

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NEW ENGLAND AT TENNESSEE

Kickoff: Monday, 6 p.m.

TV: Channel 7

The line: Tennessee by 2

Quick slant: A fine mess they’ve gotten themselves into.

Plot: After 13 weeks on the sideline, defensive end Jevon Kearse is scheduled to return to the Tennessee lineup against New England. Patriot offensive tackle Kenyatta Jones draws the assignment of trying to contain Kearse and insists it’s no big deal. “I don’t go into a game thinking I have to play against this guy or that guy,” Jones told the Boston Herald. “You have to come in and play me. That’s the way I look at it. We’re all here for a reason.” Yes, the Patriots are 8-5 and the Titans are 8-5 and they’re both in this must-win situation because they didn’t take care of business earlier in the season.

Tuesday’s headline: “Kearses! Titans Foiled Again”