Traffic Law Friend or Faux? Speeders Slow to Recognize Don’t-Move Police

Talk about the strong, silent type. On a bus tour through China, Jack Takeshita of Pacoima snapped a shot of a life-size plastic figure, “whose intent, I presume, was to caution drivers to obey the traffic laws” (see photo). And how effective was it?

Said Takeshita: “Since our bus and the other vehicles were hurtling down this mountain road at breakneck speed, I doubt the drivers even had time to take their eyes off the road to observe the mannequin.”

Which reminds me: Faux traffic officers are not unknown to Southern California.

A few years ago, residents off Beverly Glen Boulevard stationed a cut-out of a retired LAPD officer at an intersection -- Port-a-Cop, they called it (see photo). Then there was Officer Les, a retired department store mannequin, who used to occupy a worn-out squad car on the Westside. Some passersby found his stillness so eerie that they phoned police to say Les was a dead body.

And the Long Beach Police Department had Officer Wax Works, a handsome, mustachioed (of course) mannequin who worked multiple shifts (see photo). Alas, Works was an innocent by-sitter in the rivalry between the Long Beach Police and Fire departments. After Zeep the Sheep, the front-lawn mascot of one firehouse, was painted black and white and plastered with police stickers, someone stole the bottom half of Works’ torso.

Wax Works worked several months longer, without uttering a complaint, before the rest of his body fell apart.

Famous last words: At a local cemetery, John Boyle of South Pasadena came upon the marker of someone who obviously had a sense of humor (see photo).

I’d have to say the inscription ranks right up there with those of such folks as cartoon voice Mel Blanc (“That’s All Folks”), comic Ernie Kovacs (“Nothing in Moderation”), actor Richard Conte (“1910-1975-?”), gossipy sportscaster Jim Healy (“Is It True?”) and actress Joan Hackett (“Go away, I’m asleep”).

Flights of fancy? Referring to a report that said that the main thing in people’s minds when they choose an airline flight is the price, KFWB-AM radio anchor Dave Williams quipped that he always thought a lot of people considered the destination more important.

MiscelLAny: Bob Chase, proprietor of the Donut in San Pedro, says law enforcement types raise no objections about the bumper sticker on the wall of his shop: “D.A.R.E. to Keep Cops off Donuts.”

Besides, consider the source. “It was given to me,” Chase said, “by a friend in the Sheriff’s Department.” You’d never catch Wax Works in there, though.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.