Advertisement

Parity: It rhymes with hilarity

Share

The NFL quote of the day, if not the entire season, was uttered by Minnesota Vikings Coach Brad Childress -- of course, after a home defeat.

His team had just lost, 26-13, to the New York Jets, who had lost the previous week at home to Buffalo, 31-13.

His team had just lost for the sixth time in eight games.

His team is 6-8 for the season.

Childress’ assessment of this fairly dire situation?

“Mathematically,” he said, “we’re still in it.”

Isn’t everybody?

With two games remaining in the regular season, 24 of 32 NFL teams are still in it.

This includes, rather incredibly:

* The Tennessee Titans, who opened the season 0-5 and are now 7-7 after turning three David Garrard turnovers into touchdowns in a 24-17 victory over Jacksonville.

Advertisement

* The Buffalo Bills, who began the season 2-5 and now are back to .500 after shutting out Miami, 21-0, one week after the Dolphins shut out New England, 21-0.

* The Pittsburgh Steelers, whose season had been written off around Thanksgiving as the weakest title defense in pro football history. Once 2-6, the Steelers are 7-7 after routing the league’s only team more disappointing than Pittsburgh, the Carolina Panthers, 37-3.

* The Panthers, despite their 6-8 record and four-game losing streak.

* The St. Louis Rams, despite their 6-8 record and two victories in their last nine games.

* The San Francisco 49ers, despite their 6-8 record and recent three-game losing streak against St. Louis, New Orleans and Green Bay.

* The Green Bay Packers, despite their 6-8 record and 38-10 home defeat to the Jets in Week 13.

Green Bay staggered to 6-8 by surviving three Brett Favre interceptions against the NFL’s longest-running joke, the Detroit Lions, except everything about the 17-9 triumph hurt too much to laugh.

The Packers don’t deserve a playoff berth. They don’t belong anywhere near a meaningful game in January.

Advertisement

But the NFC is the conference of perpetual hope, the conference whose most successful team is quarterbacked by Rex Grossman, the conference where Saints and sinners and losers and winners head into the holidays dreaming of wild cards getting stuffed into their stockings while their pants are being pulled down.

Seven NFC teams -- nearly half the conference -- are either 6-8 or 7-7.

Only one NFC team -- 12-2 Chicago -- has more than nine victories.

And Chicago had to go overtime to log victory No. 12, waiting for Robbie Gould to go 1-1 on sudden-death field-goal tries, to edge Tampa Bay, 34-31, after blowing a 24-3 second-half lead.

In this environment, the ludicrous seems logical. Green Bay cannot finish this season with a record better than .500, can still finish this season with 10 defeats -- and yet, some Packers players were actually talking playoffs after requiring a late touchdown to put away 12-loss Detroit.

Hold on a second, Favre said, hitting the mark with more accuracy postgame than midgame.

“We were lucky to win the game,” Favre told reporters. “We’ll take it. But for us to be talking playoffs -- and I heard that there has been playoff talk -- I mean, we’ve got a long ways to go.”

Two years ago, the NFC thought it had scraped rock bottom when two teams, the Rams and the Vikings, went to the playoffs with 8-8 records.

This season, there’s a decent chance three NFC playoff teams will be no better than 8-8 -- including anyone who backs into the NFC West title.

Advertisement

Striving to prove that last season’s Pittsburgh-Seattle Super Bowl matchup was either a fluke or cursed, the Seahawks have almost matched the Steelers loss for loss in 2006. Seattle leads the NFC West at 8-6, but that’s after consecutive defeats to Arizona and San Francisco -- combined record: 10-18 -- with potential losses to San Diego (likely) and Tampa Bay (ask the Bears) remaining on the schedule.

Should the Seahawks lose those last two, it is possible, without the assistance of animal sacrifices or sold souls, for the NFC West to wind up in a three-way tie for first place at 8-8.

St. Louis gets to 8-8 with a sweep of Washington and Minnesota.

San Francisco gets to 8-8 with a sweep of Arizona and Denver.

Should such a three-way tie develop, the 49ers would win the division title by virtue of their 3-1 record against Seattle and St. Louis.

Then, Seattle and St. Louis would be waiting to see how many other NFC teams limp in at 8-8 or worse.

Bad news, NFC West: As many as five other conference teams could finish 8-8.

That would leave the NFC with eight 8-8 teams. At which point conference officials would attempt to end the deadlock by a) coin toss; b) dart toss; c) ring toss; d) “Madden 06” play-in tournament; e) spelling bee; f) the BCS; g) spitting contest with Terrell Owens; h) spirited debate; i) blind stab; j) blind auction; k) folding the conference and vowing to do better next time.

The New York Giants, better at ripping their coach than whipping NFC East opponents, are lobbying loudly for the debate.

Advertisement

The Giants lost at home Sunday to Philadelphia, 36-22, to drop to 7-7 -- after a 6-2 start.

The Eagles moved up to 8-6 -- with a chance to finish atop the division -- after a 1-5 midseason stretch.

This is how division championships are won in the NFL in 2006: The Indianapolis Colts did not play (they take on Cincinnati tonight) and clinched the AFC South title when Jacksonville lost to Tennessee.

The New Orleans Saints lost at home to Washington, 16-10, and clinched the NFC South title when Carolina lost to Pittsburgh.

If the season ended today, Jeff Garcia, Eli Manning and Jay Cutler would be playoff quarterbacks.

If things fall the right -- or wrong -- way, they could be joined by one or more off the following: Alex Smith, J.P. Losman, David Garrard and the guy who isn’t benched on the Vikings and/or Panthers.

Advertisement

This may not sound like a great recipe for classic playoff football, but let’s try to stress the positive here and say the best thing possible about all these quarterbacks.

Mathematically, they’re still in it.

*

mike.penner@latimes.com

Advertisement