Would they try this on Rambo?

Apparently, Sylvester Stallone is anything but sly, which led to a rocky day for the actor in Australia.

Stallone was found with 48 vials of the muscle-building hormone HGH during a random airport search last month and was charged Tuesday with importing a banned substance. While Stallone said the incident was a “misunderstanding,” it does bring up some questions.

In Rocky IV, was Capt. Ivan Drago the cleaner of the two boxers? Sure Drago was shown getting an injection, but there was no evidence it was anything banned in Australia. Was Paulie, Rocky’s brother-in-law, in on things? After all, he did once take over Rocky’s collection duties for the Philly mob. And was it courage or chemistry that allowed Rocky to go the distance against Apollo Creed in the first movie?

Of course, the news came the same week that the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported that Evander Holyfield admitted he took “something that was supposed to help with my hormonal problem,” in 2004.

Balboa vs. Holyfield? You can already hear the “Rocky VII” pitch. Maybe there will be a cameo role for Gary Matthews Jr.

Trivia time

UCLA has won 94 NCAA tournament games. Which school have they defeated most often?

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

About all that was missing Tuesday was Aretha Franklin singing the national anthem, such was the lack of respect Florida A&M; Coach Mike Gillespie felt before his team took on Niagara in the NCAA play-in game.

Said Gillespie: “If we’re the 65th best team in this tournament, that surprises me. I don’t think it’s possible.”

Oh, it’s possible: Niagara 77, Florida A&M; 69.

Yanqui go home

Something resembling a tank was parked outside City of Palms Park, spring training home of the Boston Red Sox, Monday. Yup, the New York Yankees were coming to town.

This was the first game between the teams at City of Palms Park since 1995, so local authorities apparently felt a deterrent was necessary. They trotted out an armored vehicle, normally used in hurricanes, hostage situations and, “anything risky,” police officer Jeff Smith told the Boston Herald.

Meanwhile, Yankees Manager Joe Torre seemed to seek a diplomatic solution rather than a military response.

Said Torre: “I thought some of the anger would subside. Sometimes you have to remind Red Sox fans they did win the World Series because the anger built up over the years is still there. “

Come on Joe, Red Sox fans not angry at the sight of those pinstripes? In that kind of lollipop-and-teddy-bear world, Alex Rodriguez would knock in clutch runs during October, George Steinbrenner would be this lovable old guy taking orphans to baseball games and the Yankees would actually have won World Series titles since 2000.

La Russa inks deal

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reported that Manager Tony La Russa made good on a promise to his daughters that he would get a tattoo if the St. Louis Cardinals won the World Series. He chose a tribal design, with dark swoops and hooks and pointed loops that stretch from his shoulder to his biceps.

A tribal design? You know a fad is passe when a 62-year old man hops on the bandwagon. No word yet whether La Russa will now wear his baseball cap backward and start listening to Vanilla Ice CDs.

Trivia answer

The University of San Francisco, which is 2-5 against the Bruins in NCAA tournament play.

Footnote: The Dons did beat UCLA the first time out in 1956 but needed a roster that included Bill Russell and K.C. Jones.

And finally

Lance Mackey won the 1,100-mile Iditarod on Tuesday, becoming the first to win back-to-back major long-distance North American sled dog races. Last month he won the 1,000-mile Yukon Quest International Sled Dog Race.

Said fellow musher Hans Gatt: “I can’t run my dogs like that. He obviously has figured out something we have not figured out yet.”

Scooby snacks, perhaps?

chris.foster@latimes.com