HIGH SCHOOL NOTEBOOK : Pranks, Goofs, Revenge and the E Street Shuffle

Blame it on The Boss:

Birmingham defeated Verdugo Hills, 29-0, Friday night, but Coach Chuck Epstein wasn’t too happy with his team’s play in the first half.

“We played like we practiced all week--terrible,” Epstein said.

His reasoning: “Too many of our guys were going to the Bruce Springsteen concerts this week. They were thinking about that instead of football.”

Such are the problems of a high school football coach.

Add Birmingham:

Esptein couldn’t have been too disappointed in the play of wide receiver Hassan Gay.

Gay, a junior, caught four passes for 142 yards and three touchdowns.

He is in his first year of playing football after being spotted by Epstein in one of Birmingham’s regular physical education classes.

If you like high school pranks, originality and revenge, you’ll love the Poly-North Hollywood rivalry.

One thing to remember: Poly’s nickname is Parrots and North Hollywood’s is Huskies.

Last season, when the two team’s met at North Hollywood, the home team had spread a large quantity of bird seed and crackers in front of the Poly bench.

When Poly played host to North Hollywood on Friday night, the Huskies found several bags of dog food piled in front of their bench.

Touche. One couldn’t spell it. The other couldn’t play it:

Moorpark had a 13-7 lead and had allowed only one touchdown in 12 quarters this season by halftime of its Friday night game against El Segundo.

Just before the third quarter, the Moorpark cheerleaders paid tribute to the team’s defensive might, unfolding a sign that read “Mean Green Machine.” Down the side of the banner, in large, bold letters, it said, “Defence.”

Moorpark allowed three touchdowns in the second half and lost, 28-27.

Startling stat:

Loyola was hit with 142 yards in penalties in its 42-0 win over El Camino Real Friday night.

That’s 17 more yards than the El Camino Real offense has totaled in three games.

Since teams The Times has been ranking in its Valley Top Ten have insisted on losing, we thought we might try a little reverse psychology this week and rank the worst teams just to see if they might win.

Two weeks ago, six of the Top Ten teams lost. This week, four lost and two struggled to narrow wins.

We’re not making any promises, but here it is, The Times’ Valley Bottom Ten:

1) Grant (0-4). The Lancers have been outscored, 120-22. In Friday night’s 51-14 loss to Westchester, Grant had six passes intercepted. Two were returned for touchdowns. The Lancers also fumbled five times, losing three, and were hit with 12 penalties for 92 yards. Several more penalties were declined. Enough said.

2) The Alpha League (4-14 prior to starting league this week). Western Christian, Montclair Prep, Village Christian, Marshall Fundamental, Los Angeles Baptist and Los Angeles Lutheran were outscored 322-154 in the first three weeks of the season. Lutheran was outscored 0-137 itself. The only thing that will stop those totals from getting worse is that Alpha League teams will playing against each from now on.

3) El Camino Real (0-3). (Please see Startling Stat above for statistics of ineptitude).

4) Oak Park (0-4). The Conquistadores have been outscored 101-15. About its offense: The team’s only touchdown this week was scored on an interception by the defense. The offense then took over and missed the extra point.

5) Agoura (2-2). Harvard (1-3) would have been a Bottom Ten candidate before beating Agoura, 27-13, Saturday afternoon. Therefore, by managing to lose so badly, Agoura makes the jump from No. 10 in the Top Ten to No. 5 in the Bottom Ten. Yes, it was quite a week for the Chargers.

6) Hart (0-3-1). The Indians opened the season as the Coastal Conference’s top ranked team. They’re not listed in that poll anymore, but they’re moving up in this one.

7) Notre Lame (1-3). The Knights have been playing against lower division teams all year and have still been outscored 76-63. Notre Dame’s most impressive performance this season wasn’t its win, but its 21-14 loss to Canyon Friday night. Next week: Edison of Huntington Beach.

8) Royal (0--4). The Highlanders have one of the area’s top offensive teams but they haven’t won a game. You figure it out.

9) North Hollywood (0-3). The Huskies’ only chance for a win this season may be when it plays top-ranked Grant.

10) Saugus (0-2-2). The Centurions have allowed only 13 points in their last three games. Their offense has scored only nine points in the same span. Look for this team to challenge the Southern Section record for scoreless ties in a season.