A Double-Double With Everything

If you thought it was difficult to keep up with the Joneses, you ought to try keeping up with that Watts’ family in Thousand Oaks.

Or those Buchanan folks.

It’s twice the chore.

Jeff and David Watts are twins. They are Thousand Oaks High seniors and play football.

One specializes in defense, the other in offense.

Matt and Greg Buchanan are twins. They are Thousand Oaks seniors and play football.

One specializes in defense, the other in offense.

The Watts guys arrive at the football field in a white four-wheel-drive jeep.

The Buchanan boys also pile out of a white four-wheel-drive jeep.

The Watts’ boys carry 3.0 grade-point averages and are clean-cut, All-American types. The Buchanan boys . . . you guessed it.

All four players will represent the East in the Ventura County all-star football game tonight at 7:30 at Ventura High.

Thank goodness for jersey numbers.

Jeff and David are fraternal twins. Jeff is 11 minutes older than David.

Matt and Greg are identical twins. Matt is four minutes older than Greg.

“The Watts boys aren’t identical, but I sure can’t tell them apart,” said Debbi Buchanan, Greg and Matt’s mother. “I just cannot see a difference.”

Neither can Thousand Oaks Coach Bob Richards, although he coached all four players for two seasons.

“None of those kids are real big, but they’re very, very tough,” Richards said. “In fact, last season, Matt . . . I think it was Matt. Maybe it was Greg. Well, I can’t remember if it was Matt or Greg, but one of them had a bad ankle and shoulder and still didn’t miss a day of practice.”

At least one thing is clear about this foursome: They love to put on the pads and tee off.

Greg Buchanan, all 5-foot-10 and 170 pounds of him, played fullback last season. When he wasn’t blocking for tailback Cory Bowen, who rushed for 1,257 yards, he ran for 674 yards, averaging 6.5 a carry.

Matt Buchanan (5-9, 175) played linebacker and was second on the team with 80 tackles. He also had five sacks.

David Watts (5-11, 160) was a defensive back who led the team with 87 tackles. He had four interceptions and blocked three kicks.

Jeff Watts (5-10, 165) was a wide receiver who broke seven school receiving records. Last season, he caught 41 passes for 685 yards and led the team with 11 touchdowns.

David Watts and Matt Buchanan were two of the hardest hitters in Ventura County and were first-team all-county selections. Each earned a green helmet at Thousand Oaks, awarded to defensive players who exhibit outstanding leadership and talent.

“With all four of those kids, their packages might not be too big, but pound for pound they are outstanding football players,” Richards said.

They’re also not bad foosball players. They gathered at the Watts’ home Tuesday for a friendly foosball match, pitting the older two, Jeff Watts and Matt Buchanan, against Dave and Greg.

During a spirited foosball game, they talked about the competitive element of being a twin.

“In fact, that’s why Greg and I aren’t on the same (foosball) team,” Matt said. “We’ll end up fighting.”

“That’s because you’re no good,” Greg shot back.

“See what I mean?” Matt replied, provoking a round of laughter.

The Watts boys have always played on the same athletic team. So have the Buchanans.

“In Little League, they once had a chance to move up to the major division but knew they might be separated,” said Steve Watts, Jeff and David’s father. “But they said they’d rather stay together, and they stayed in the minors.”

The Wattses met the Buchanans in the seventh grade, when David approached Greg in a wood shop class and asked him all those questions that twins hate.

“How do people tell you apart?”

“Have you ever traded spots in class?”

“Can your girlfriends tell you apart?”

Finally, David told Greg that he too was a twin.

“But people ask you those things all the time,” Jeff said. “They’ll say stuff like ‘Now, are you you? Or are you your brother?’ ”

Each has grown accustomed to being called by his brother’s name.

“One guy had met Matt, but he kept saying ‘Hi’ to me,” Greg said. “Finally, I had to tell him that I wasn’t Matt. Every time I saw him after than, he looked at me like I was some kind of weirdo.”

Such is the life of twins.

“Naturally, I’ve learned to respond to ‘Hi, Jeff,’ ” David said. “I just say ‘Hi’ and leave it at that. Sometimes it’s not worth going over.”

Yet the brothers have had fun with their identities on occasion.

Dave and Jeff once switched practice jerseys. “It was great,” Dave said. “I was over catching passes, playing wide receiver, and nobody knew. But his helmet was uncomfortable.”

David also ran into a college football coach who inquired about “that really good receiver at Thousand Oaks. I told him it was my twin brother, but I should have said it was me.”

Jim Hansen, a freshman football coach, once issued Matt a tongue-lashing that was intended for Greg. Matt listened patiently, then told Hansen he wasn’t Greg.

“Well, tell him what I said!” Hansen barked.

Although their high school days are nearing an end, both sets of brothers plan to stick together for at least a few more years.

Jeff and David will attend Ricks Junior College in Rexburg, Idaho, on partial football scholarships for one year, then depart for a two-year church mission.

Matt and Greg, who also were part of the Thousand Oaks 400-meter relay team that won the Southern Section 3-A Division title and finished sixth in the state meet, will attend either Moorpark College or UC Davis.

Dave wants to be a physical therapist or doctor. Jeff wants to open a sports bar. Matt and Greg want to be engineers.

“Now we’re getting older, and I think about when we’re 25 or 30 and might be hundreds of miles away from each other,” Jeff said. “Neither one of us will be known as twins, and that will be strange.”

But they won’t have to hear any more wisecracks.

“The worst is when they say your brother is ugly,” David said.

Or was that Jeff?