A Question of Balance : Walking That Fine Line Between Coaching and Being a Father : Prep Wednesday: Four boys’ basketball coaches are mentors on the court and at home.

It was a day Mark Thornton, Capistrano Valley’s basketball coach, had to confront Mark Thornton, the proud father.

Thornton had just watched his 16-year-old son, Todd, make nine three-point baskets in an 89-73 victory over Savannah (Ga.) in the Kissimmee Great Florida Shootout.

Mark Thornton was beaming.

“The father came out in me,” he said. “I was really proud. I’m an emotional guy and it’s hard to hide your emotions when you’re dealing with your son.

“Afterward, I wanted to go out on the court and hug Todd. But I had to hold back and tell myself, ‘Hey, I’m the coach here, and I don’t want to give a false impression to others that I’m favoring my son.’

“You wear separate hats as a father-coach, and sometimes it’s really difficult to distinguish which hat you’re wearing.”

There are four high school boys’ basketball coaches in the county who have the distinction of wearing “two hats.” They walk a fine line between the man with a whistle who is called coach and the father who sits at the dinner table with his son after practice.

Four county coaches--Gary McKnight of Mater Dei, Jim Harris of Ocean View, Joe Reid of Mission Viejo and Thornton at Capistrano Valley--have the added responsibility of being a mentor on the court and at home.

Their sons--Jimmy Harris, Clay McKnight, Jerry Reid and Todd Thornton--have found that there’s added pressure when you share your last name with your coach.

Jimmy Harris, a senior point guard who averages 17.4 points and 9.6 assists, has been under the microscope at Ocean View for four seasons.

“I’ve been proving myself at Ocean View for four years,” Harris said. “People questioned what I was doing on the varsity as a freshman. Even after I got a scholarship (from Loyola Marymount), I feel there’s still something I have to prove.

“I can remember going home this year and my sister said, ‘You’re really the only one who gets yelled at regularly in practice.’ That’s just the way it is.

“Those who think a coach’s son gets preferential treatment should think again. A coach’s son has to work harder to show the other players, their parents and the fans that he belongs.”

Harris speaks from experience. He was the subject of a player-parent confrontation with Jim Harris after the 1989-90 season when the Seahawks finished 13-12.

In a nutshell, some folks at Ocean View wanted to know if Jimmy was starting on the varsity as a freshman simply because his father was the coach.

“Basically, they felt Jimmy hadn’t earned a varsity position by first playing on the lower-level teams like everyone else,” his father said. “They implied that he was my son and was getting preferential treatment.

“It came down to why Jimmy played ahead of their sons. And the bottom line was, he was more experienced. My response was, ‘I favor him before the game or after a game but not during a game.’ Every day from then on, Jimmy came here with one thing on his mind: To prove himself.”

Jim Harris said he had planned to have his son play for him since the day he enrolled Jimmy in a Huntington Beach recreation league as a first-grader. He grew curious about how to handle a father-son relationship in a dual role as a coach.

“I wanted to be very sure of what I was doing,” he said. “Once I started coaching him, it became a learning process day by day. But the first guy I went to for advice was Ed Goorjian.”

Goorjian had coached three sons--Greg, Kevin and Brian--during a successful 14-year tenure at Crescenta Valley. He gave Harris a basic rule to follow.

“You’re a coach on the floor, and at home you’re a father,” said Goorjian, now an assistant at Cal State Fullerton. “You don’t talk basketball with your kids at home. Leave the game at the gym.”

He also told Harris he was about to experience some of the greatest years of his coaching career.

“Getting the opportunity to coach your own son is something very special,” Goorjian said. “As a coach, you put in so many hours and work so hard with others’ kids, that when you finally get a chance to do that with your own son, it’s very special.

“The time with your son at that age goes by very quickly. I told Jim to enjoy every minute that he coached his son.”

McKnight, the county’s winningest coach over the last 11 years, is a relative newcomer to the father-coach club on the high school level, but he had years of experience coaching his son’s traveling teams and Little League teams when Clay was younger.

Clay, a sophomore guard, played on the freshman and junior varsity teams at Mater Dei last year before joining Gary this season. He plays about 15 minutes per game in a reserve role and is the team’s best three-point shooter.

Clay said he thought there would be some who wondered if he belonged on the varsity and felt some pressure heading into the season.

“I got the feeling some of the players felt I didn’t belong,” he said. “But after the Westchester game, I had the respect of my teammates.”

Clay made six consecutive three-point shots against Westchester to lead Mater Dei to a 72-54 victory. It would be a once-in-a-lifetime performance for most, but it was almost taken for granted at Mater Dei.

“After the game, I knew my dad wasn’t going to make a big thing about it,” Clay said. “He got on me afterward about a backcourt violation. Then, when we got home that night, he opened the front door and said, ‘By the way, nice shooting.’ ”

Gary McKnight, who posted his 300th victory at Mater Dei on New Year’s Day, said his son has waited for his moment to play at Mater Dei “more than I have.”

“He’s only missed two games in 11 years,” Gary said. “I can remember when he was 6 years old and we were playing Crenshaw in the Tournament of Champions. It was an intense game and he was pacing on the sidelines more than I was.

“I wish I could say we’re really close or that we’re always on the same wavelength and think exactly alike. But that’s not the case. We don’t have any conflicts, but my biggest problem is that I tend to magnify his mistakes.

“The last time I talked to my mother, she told me, ‘Don’t be too tough on Clay.’ I want to cheer for him sometimes, but I don’t want people to think I’m more involved with my son than I am with the rest of the team.

“You have to be fair. There are too many public eyes and too many judges of the Mater Dei basketball program out there. You can make it tough on your son if you’re not fair.”

Irvine Valley College basketball Coach Bill Mulligan said it’s the coach’s son who might be the fifth or sixth best player on the team that can create problems for his father.

“I think it’s easier to coach your own kid if he’s the star player or the role player who gets into the end of games,” he said. “I was fortunate coaching my son, Brian, at UC Irvine where he was a reserve player.

“Brian accepted his role. And whenever he got into a game, he became the darling of Crawford Hall. It’s the average player with carte blanche to shoot that causes problems. People start getting the impression that the only reason the kid is playing is because he’s the coach’s son.”

Joe Reid, father of seven children between the ages of 8 and 17, should become an expert on how to coach sons before he’s finished at Mission Viejo High. Reid anticipates coaching four--Jerry, Joey, John and Josh--before he retires.

Reid’s oldest son, Jerry, is a junior guard who averages six points. He played two seasons at El Toro before obtaining an intra-district transfer to join his father when Joe was named Mission Viejo’s coach last June.

“He was a little hesitant about leaving his buddies at El Toro, and he couldn’t play against them during the summer,” Joe said. “It was a bit of an awkward situation, but I always thought coaching against my son would be even tougher.

“I couldn’t picture my wife (Maria) sitting on one side of the gym rooting for Jerry and me on the other.”

Reid said his wife often reminds him to say more positive things to his son. He admits he makes a point to show the other players that he doesn’t play favorites.

“It bugs me that I’m not a more positive person, even with my own son,” he said. “It would be easier for me if my kid was a superstar. He tries harder than hell and works his butt off in practice, but he’s an average player.

“Fortunately, he takes criticism well. Sometimes, we’ll get home and he’ll say, ‘Dad, why do you get on my case so much?’ ”

Mark Thornton will have two sons playing for him next season when his youngest son, Brad, joins Todd on the varsity. Thornton has been grooming his sons for 13 years with the hope that someday they would join him.

“There’s a lot of pride inside just watching your son warm up and knowing that we’ve waited all these years for him to play for me,” Thornton said. “It’s been a lot of fun this year, but it’s also been hard.

“The biggest thing I have to remember is to leave the game in the gym when I go home. I figure all the other kids don’t have to sit at the dinner table with a coach, so I try to always be their father at home.”