Weighty Assailant Really Didn’t Need the Booty

The L.A. Independent reported that a man “wrestled a package of cookies away from a victim outside a grocery store” on Hollywood Boulevard and fled. The assailant’s weight, not surprisingly, was put at “250 to 300 pounds.”

Speaking of food crimes: Ellie Evans of Santa Ana found some vastly overpriced fruit (see accompanying).

And is this really a bargain? Tony LaHood of Irvine asks, “Shouldn’t ‘running water’ be a given at a ‘Four Diamond’ resort?” (see accompanying).

I suppose it’s possible that the Arizona hotel was referring to an adjacent stream but, in this economy, who knows?

Serving up plenty of stuffing! Rosemarie LeForte of Huntington Beach chanced upon a business that, she said, “is no longer at this location but they left some of their quality upholstery behind!” (see photo).

“Duh!” parody: Glenn Thomas sent along a warning on a box of nails that seems to needle worrywarts (see accompanying).

Unclear on the concept: KNX-AM (1070) traffic reporter Jim Thornton was monitoring a brief CHP pursuit on the Riverside Freeway in Orange County when he overheard some surprising news about the suspect vehicle from a dispatcher.

A check revealed that it “was an unmarked SWAT vehicle,” Thornton said. “I’m not sure what he [the SWAT driver] had done, but they called off the chase.”

Curbside disservice: West Hollywood had a painter freshen up the street numbers on the curbs, says mystery novelist John Morgan Wilson. Thus began a true-life story with twists and turns.

Not only did the painter brighten up Wilson’s number, but “further along, near my front gate, he added the number of the garage apartment next door.” Why? There was no curb in front of the garage apartment, the painter pointed out.

“I suggested that having the wrong number in front of my house might confuse some visitors,” Wilson said. “Very amiably, he promised to fix it.”

The solution? He placed an arrow next to the apartment number. It’s supposed to point down the street but appears to point to Wilson’s front gate.

Memorable names in the legal profession: After the item here about law firms with colorful names, including Argue & Phibbs and Lies & Bullis, Gary Ruttenberg nominated a Santa Monica firm: Stone & Wood.

Two others of recent years are also noteworthy: Null & Boyd of Boston, and Low, Ball & Lynch of San Francisco.

MiscelLAny: Seeing a mention here of the book, “Do Fish Drink Water?” Dan Fink of West Los Angeles recalled that legendary hard-liquor fan “W.C. Fields is alleged to have said something along the lines of ‘I never drink water. Fish do disgusting things in it!’ ”

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, and by e-mail at steve .harvey@latimes.com.