ONE OF THOSE DAYS . . . : GIANTS 18, PADRES 1 : Imagine This: Giants Bury Padres, Deep

After this Giant mess was over, San Francisco catcher Bob Brenly let out a big whoop and said: “Who’s the official scorekeeper? Who’s the official scorekeeper? We’ve got to send him some flowers!”

The Giants--who suddenly make opponents cower--ran up the score Monday. They defeated the San Diego Padres, 18-1, and if you want some imagery, we’ve got imagery.

There was LaMarr Hoyt, the San Diego starter, sitting aimlessly at his locker stall. Three years ago, he won a Cy Young, but now he only sighs. Asked the difference between 1986 and 1983, he said: “Luck.”

Here’s what he means: Monday, the Giants scored five times in the first inning on seven singles, and three of those hits never left the infield.

And there was Vida Blue, waving in runs from the bullpen. In the seventh inning, San Francisco’s Candy Maldonado ripped a ball to deep right with two men on, and Blue grabbed the nearest towel and made like a third base coach. “Run, run, run!” he screamed.

And there was San Diego Manager Steve Boros--out of pitchers--turning to his top pinch-hitter, Dane Iorg, and asking him to take the mound in the eighth.

Iorg said: “Why not.”

Then, Giant pitcher Mike LaCoss hit his first career home run.

Then, Giant infielder Mike Woodard hit his first career home run.

Said LaCoss: “It definitely was a tainted home run.”

Said Woodard: “Describe it? It was like batting practice. They gave me the game ball. But I’ll hide this one in the back of my locker. When I get one off a real pitcher, I’ll put it up front. This one will have an asterisk by it.”

Said Iorg: “Well, I wouldn’t want to pitch with the game on the line. But I’ve thrown batting practice. I can throw strikes. I proved that today . . . Some fans were yelling at me. They were saying: ‘Can I hit off you? Will you stay after so I can take some hacks? I know I can hit you!’ ”

Said teammate Tim Flannery to Iorg: “Well, my wife could hit you, too.”

Iorg got out of the inning (he gave up four runs), actually striking out Giant outfielder Randy Kutcher with a slider.

“I throw fastball, changeup, slider, breaking ball, whatever,” Iorg said. “Actually, I don’t think it’s been defined yet.”

After the game, Iorg approached catcher Bruce Bochy. He said: “Hey Bruce, how hard was I throwing? In the 80s?”

Bochy answered: “80s? That’s your ERA.”

His ERA is really 36.

“Thirty-six?” Bochy said. “That’s how hard he was throwing--36 miles per hour.”

Bochy went on: “He didn’t have any control, no velocity, got behind hitters, didn’t cover first and crossed me up. I think he lost his job as the 11th pitcher. I wanted to see what Dane had. He’d been talking like he had good stuff, and Mormon’s don’t lie.”

You want imagery?

The Giants still are in first place.

“I know it’s premature to say we’re going to win it,” Giant pitcher Mike Krukow said. “But we’re going to win it.”

They’ve won five straight, six of seven and 15 of 23. The last time they scored 18 runs was 1965. Monday, they had 21 hits.

“This was reminiscent of a 9 o’clock spring training game in Yuma, Arizona, four months ago,” Brenly said. “But that’s the great thing about baseball. You can score 700,000 runs in a game, and come back the next day and hardly be able to score a run.”

Speaking of next days, the Giants drew 47,000 on Sunday, but had only 10,604 people at Candlestick Park Monday.

“The way we’re going right now, we’re at a rate of (drawing) about a million-six (fans), which is still, for most clubs, a disaster,” team owner Bob Lurie told the San Francisco Examiner. “Most clubs draw over 2 million. And we’re not even at our break-even. Our break-even happens to be under 2 million. Most clubs have break-evens at 2 million or more. And we’re not even close to that.

“So, sure, I think the attendence (Sunday) is marvelous. Sure, we’re excited about it. We’re excited about being in first place. Last year was a bankruptcy year. Eight hundred thousand people. We’re working at a pace almost double of that. But you can’t say that’s good by major league standards today.

“I can’t get excited and say that this is a major league park. The mayor even agrees that it’s not a major league park. Everybody in baseball agrees.”

But nobody agreed this would happen.

The Giants in first.

The Padres managed only three hits off LaCoss (7-2) Monday, and the only run came when Marvell Wynne singled in Flannery. Was it their fault Hoyt had trouble? Was it their fault that Boros had to stick with Hoyt through the fourth inning? The bullpen was tuckered out after the weekend series against the Dodgers, and Boros couldn’t use Craig Lefferts or Lance McCullers or Gene Walter.

Hoyt finally left, having yielded 13 hits and nine runs in 3 innings, and Tim Stoddard followed. Then Sunday’s starter Mark Thurmond, who will be in the bullpen until early July, threw an inning. Then, Iorg threw.

“But,” Flannery admitted, “I’d rather lose like this than 1-0.”

And though Iorg proved he couldn’t work in relief, he did bring comic relief.

“Dane blew it,” Flannery said. “We were down 14-1 when he came in, but we were gonna come back. He blew it.”

Padre Notes Steve Boros is a copycat. Remember Montreal? That’s when Expo second baseman Vance Law pitched the ninth inning of a lopsided game against the Padres. That night Boros turned to Dane Iorg and said: “If we ever get in a situation like that, when we need to save an arm, I’m gonna use you.” And it happened Monday. . . . LaMarr Hoyt hasn’t won a game since May 28, and his ERA is 6.36. “It’s a tough thing going into a National League season without any spring training,” Boros said. . . . Joey Cora, a Padres’ minor leaguer who was stabbed following a Double-A Texas League game Saturday, will be out for about six weeks. Cora was stabbed twice in the stomach and arm while waiting to board a bus after a game in San Antonio, police said. Jose Puente, 29, was arrested at the scene and formally charged Sunday with attempted murder, police said.