Wedding Registries and How to Ask for Gifts You Actually Want
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Let’s talk about wedding registries. Specifically, how to build one that reflects your actual life, not just a checklist from a wedding website or home store. As you know, many couples live together before marriage and already own the basics. So it’s no surprise that you may want to skip the request for an espresso machine or toaster in favor of more meaningful, practical, or experience-based gifts. That said, there’s an art to asking for what you want, especially when it comes to money, large ticket items, or nontraditional registries.
How to Ask for Cash Politely
Money requests can feel awkward, but more and more couples are asking for it and guests are warming up to the idea. The key comes down to presentation. Instead of writing “cash preferred,” consider using registry platforms like Zola, Honeyfund, or The Knot, which allow you to allocate contributions toward specific goals such as a new mattress, a down payment, or a Parisian cooking class. Framing cash as a contribution to a shared experience or milestone makes it feel thoughtful and intentional rather than transactional.
If you’re including this option on your wedding website or invitation, you can say something like:“Your presence is the greatest gift of all. But if you’d like to contribute to our honeymoon or future together, we’ve included a few ways to help us build our dream life.”
Alternatively, if you do want to request cash as a gift, wording such as: “Your presence at our celebration is the only gift we need. But if you feel inclined, we’d be grateful for any contribution toward helping us build our home together.
Honeymoon Funds That Feel Personal
Honeymoon funds are currently one of the most popular forms of registries. But instead of a single lump-sum ask, I suggest that you break the ask down into elements or experiences related to the honeymoon such as: airfare, hotel stays, a bottle of wine in Santorini, a couples’ massage in Tulum, etc. Guests love to feel like they’re gifting an experience rather than just giving money. Adding personal notes about why you want to experience said request together can make the ask even more meaningful.
It’s Okay to Register for Big Ticket Items
That beautiful sofa you’ve been eyeing? Put it on the list. Many registry sites (and stores like Pottery Barn or Crate & Barrel) offer completion discounts — sometimes up to 20% — for any items left unpurchased after the wedding. Even if no one buys the couch, it’s still worthwhile to add it to your registry. And you might be surprised as some guests love going in on group gifts for something really special.
Don’t Skip the Tangible Gifts
Even if you’re dreaming of a cash fund or a trip to Bali, not every guest will feel comfortable giving money. And some people, especially those of different generations, really want to give something they can wrap and see in your home next time they visit. Registering for a few tangible items like serving trays, candlesticks or other entertaining items can be a thoughtful way to honor those preferences while still curating items you actually want in your home.
Charitable Registries with Heart
If giving back is part of your love story, you might invite guests to make a donation to a cause close to your heart. Nonprofit registry sites like The Good Beginning make it easy to set up a philanthropic registry. This route is especially meaningful for second marriages, couples who already have everything, or those planning celebrations where they truly do not want a gift but would love to use their wedding to inspire a little generosity in the world.
Final Thought
A registry isn’t about asking for “stuff”. It’s about sharing your vision for this new chapter of your life. Whether that means a dream honeymoon, a cozy home, or making the world a little better together, it’s okay to ask for what you truly want. Just make sure to offer a variety of options, and to always express gratitude.
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