Engaged? Your How-To-Begin Wedding Planning Starting Guide
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Congratulations! You’re engaged—cue the champagne and confetti! While this is obviously an amazing moment, once the excitement settles the reality of planning a wedding can feel overwhelming. Where do you even begin?
While it’s tempting to dive straight into Pinterest and dress shopping, the best weddings aren’t just beautifully designed; they’re thoughtfully planned from the start. Here’s how to lay a strong foundation for an enjoyable planning process.
Identify Your Planning Committee
Before making any decisions, sit down with your fiancé and determine who will be involved in the planning process, aka your “planning committee.” These are the people who will influence decisions, often including parents, close family members, or trusted friends.
When deciding who to involve, consider:
- Who’s financially contributing? If parents are contributing to the expenses, for example, they may expect input on decisions.
- Who do you trust for guidance? This could be a parent with impeccable taste, a friend who planned the perfect wedding, or someone whose opinions align with your vision.
- Who are the ultimate decision-makers? You? Your parents? A combination? Establishing decision-making boundaries now can prevent stress later.
Whoever you include, keep the group small. Too many voices can cause unnecessary anxiety, dilute your vision, and lead to decision fatigue.
Wedding Budget: Talk About Finances & Establish Priorities
Finances may not be the most glamorous part of planning, but they’re crucial. Setting a realistic wedding budget is one of the first steps to planning a wedding. Have an open conversation about what everyone is comfortable spending. Ask yourselves:
- What is our realistic wedding budget? Is this a firm cap, or is there some flexibility?
- If we can’t afford everything on our wish list, what takes priority? Staying on budget or adhering to our vision?
- Who is contributing, and what expectations, if any, come with their support?
Many couples experience sticker shock when they start gathering quotes, but setting a budget that reflects your values will help you allocate funds where they have the most impact.
As you review your budget, the conversation about priorities will naturally arise. Every couple has different must-haves—some dream of a memorable meal, while others prioritize a breathtaking venue or top-tier entertainment. Ask yourselves:
- What aspects of the wedding experience are non-negotiable?
- Are there areas where we’d prefer to scale back?
- How do we want our wedding to feel for our guests—intimate, glamorous, effortless, over-the-top?
Aligning on priorities early will guide decisions and ensure you invest wisely.
Guest Count: Define Your Guest List
Your guest list will impact nearly every major decision, from venue selection to catering costs to centerpieces and more. The guest list should be drafted early to influence the wedding venue selection and overall budget. Are you dreaming of a grand wedding full of friends, acquaintances, and co-workers or something more intimate with those who matter most?
Start by listing the people you truly can’t imagine celebrating without. If parents are involved, get their input as well.
As you outline your guest list, consider:
- Do we want an intimate gathering or a large celebration?
- Are plus-ones invited?
- What’s our stance on inviting children?
- If budget or venue constraints arise, who is on the “must-have” list versus the “nice-to-have” list?
Ultimately as you consider who to invite, ensure that your guest list aligns with your vision, priorities and finances.
Wedding Venue: Brainstorm the When & Where
Before diving into venue research, think broadly:
- What season feels right for our wedding?
- Do we envision a local celebration or a destination wedding?
- Are we drawn to a ballroom, vineyard, beach, or even a private estate?
Once you have a general idea of timing and location, start researching venues. Once you know your guest count, you can start researching venues and other vendors. Reach out for initial details including availability, capacity, and pricing. Even a few initial inquiries will give you helpful insight to narrow down venues before beginning site visits.
Okay, It’s Time to Actually Start Planning
Once you have those big-picture ideas sorted out, it’s time to start planning for real by locking in the big stuff. This is the part of the wedding planning process where things start to feel official.
Think of the first few months of planning as building the foundation for your own wedding. You should aim to set your wedding date and book your wedding venue as your first major step. Many popular venues are booked more than a year in advance. Once you have your date and venue, you should book your wedding photographer, as they are often the next vendor to get booked up. After that, you can send out your save the dates.
Thinking About the Pre-Wedding Events
It’s easy to get so focused on the wedding day that you forget about all the other celebrations that come with it. These pre-wedding events are a big part of the fun.
- The Engagement Party: This is usually the first celebration after you get engaged, often hosted by your parents or a close friend. It’s a great way to announce your upcoming nuptials.
- The Wedding Shower: The wedding shower is typically hosted by the bridal party or other family members. This is a time for guests to give you gifts to help you start your new life together, so make sure your wedding registry is ready.
- The Bachelorette and Bachelor Parties: These parties are a chance to celebrate with your close friends. They can be anything from a single night out to a full weekend trip.
- The Rehearsal Dinner: This is the final gathering before the big day. It’s usually a more intimate event for the wedding party and immediate family. You’ll want to send out separate rehearsal dinner invitations for this.
Sorting Out the Wedding Accessories and Attire
Finding the wedding dress is a huge moment, but don’t forget about everything else that goes with it. You’ll need to budget for wedding shoes and other wedding accessories like a veil or jewelry. You’ll also need to coordinate the groomsmen attire and the bridesmaid dresses. A key date to add to your timeline is the final dress fitting, which usually happens a few weeks before the wedding. And don’t forget about the wedding rings!
Don’t Forget the Wedding Rings
In the middle of all the chaos, it can be surprisingly easy to forget about your actual wedding bands. Give yourselves plenty of time to buy wedding bands that you both love. This is a separate purchase from the engagement ring and should have its own line item in your budget. You’ll want to have them in hand with plenty of time for any sizing adjustments.
Using Wedding Planning Tools to Stay Organized
To keep everything straight, take advantage of modern wedding planning tools. Create a wedding website to house all the important information for your wedding guests, such as date, time, and transportation logistics. Use a digital guest list manager to track RSVPs. These tools are great for keeping everyone on the same page, especially if you have family members helping with the planning.
Planning for the Wedding Night (and Beyond)
A surprising number of couples forget to plan for what happens after the reception. Make sure you have transportation arranged from your reception venue. Book a hotel room for your wedding night so you have a comfortable place to crash after a long day. And of course, don’t forget to plan your honeymoon destination!
Consider Hiring a Wedding Planner
A wedding planner is more than just an extra set of hands—they’re your guide through the complexities of planning. Vendors should be booked as soon as possible, especially popular ones, to avoid losing them to other clients. Whether you hire a full-service planner or someone for partial support, their expertise can save you time, stress, and costly mistakes.
When vetting planners, look for someone who will collaborate with you while also offering guidance. The right planner will listen to your vision while also helping you navigate contracts, manage vendors, troubleshoot logistics, and ensure you invest your resources wisely.
Closing Thoughts
The wedding planning journey is a marathon, not a sprint. It’s easy to get caught up in all the little details, but try to keep the big picture in focus. This is about celebrating your relationship and starting a new chapter of your life together. Have fun with it, lean on your support system, and remember that your dream wedding is the one that feels true to you as a couple.
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